Saturday, December 31, 2005

Looking to the New Year

I trust you enjoyed your Holidays and are looking forward to a very prosperous 2006!

I am currently enjoying taking some time off and relaxing. You may (or may not) have noticed that I didn't get to my usual postings this week. For those of you not on vacation reading this I want to wish you a very Happy New Year.

Be sure to keep your eyes peeled for my postings next week! They'll be worth the wait!

Have a safe and happy New Year!

Terri Levine
http://www.comprehensivecoachingu.com
http://www.terrilevine.com
http://www.coachinstitute.com

Friday, December 23, 2005

Help Your Children Celebrate Hanukkah... despite the Tinsel!

It's a rare child who can ignore the bright lights and decorations and Santa Clauses and all the fuss that is "Christmas". However, as Hanukkah and Christmas are so close together on the calendar, it can present some challenges, especially for very young children who are easily confused.

Here are a few tips:

  1. Talk to your children and make sure they understand the true meaning of Hanukkah, how it relates to them, and its special significance for them.

  2. Find ways to make Hanukkah special and significant for them. Make the most of the Hanukkah traditions, keep them alive and encourage your child's active participation.

  3. Explain "why" Christmas is special to Christians and explain the differences between Christmas and Hanukkah. If you try to place a "ban" on all things festive related, you will only create a desire for the forbidden. (The Xmas tree and all the decorations actually pre-date Christianity and have nothing to do with the Christian "Christmas" celebration itself.)

  4. Invite a couple of your children's non-Jewish friends to celebrate Hanukkah with you and allow your child to accept an invitation to a Christian friend's Christmas celebrations. Maybe some of your non Jewish friends will allow your younger children to help decorate their Xmas tree. (Where's the harm in that? It's just making a tree pretty, after all!) This is also a great way to establish religious tolerance and understanding. Let them learn that all religions have significant celebrations and that they are all meaningful and can all be fun.

  5. Some families manage to ignore the fuss of Christmas entirely, and some have decided to participate in certain aspects of the holiday season - such as exchanging gifts, putting up some tinsel or special festive lights, hanging stockings for "Santa" and some even put up Xmas trees! That's okay. Why shouldn't we all be allowed to participate and join in the celebrations? It doesn't detract from who you are or what you believe. It can all be part of understanding each other's culture and traditions. Why not share some of YOUR special celebrations with your non Jewish friends? In fact, if you have a group of friends with different religious backgrounds, why not start something where you ALL celebrate each other's special days of significance in some way. Your child will look forward to "their turn" to show their friends what is special about "their" significant days!

Remember, the Xmas tree and all the lights and tinsel we now associate with the Christian celebration of Christmas, have, in fact, nothing to do with Christmas and these traditions pre-date Christianity. With this in mind, there is little harm in enjoying the colorful aspects of the festive season with your children, provided you take the time to explain it all to them!

Happy holidays!

Terri Levine
http://www.comprehensivecoachingu.com
http://www.terrilevine.com
http://www.coachinstitute.com

Thursday, December 22, 2005

It's Get On The Soapbox Time Again!

Regardless of your religion and whether or not you celebrate the time of year known as Christmas, just about everywhere you read you will find articles shouting how stressful this time of year is. It's "emotionally, physically and psychologically draining".

Oh puh-leeze! Aren't you just a little bit tired of this?

And who decided that the time of year when there is peace and goodwill among men (or supposed to be) will be an emotionally, physically and psychologically draining time? You did! You decide how you are going to feel at any given time. You can't blame December for your choices!

It's all in your mind! Don't blow things out of proportion. Instead of seeing this time of year as a test of endurance or who can put on the fanciest spread and buy the most expensive gifts or whatever, see it as a time to enjoy special food and the company of friends and family that you might only see once a year.

Your house doesn't have to be spotless. Whatever you cook doesn't have to make the Chef at the Ritz proud. Explain to your visitors that they are visiting a real family living in a real home with all that entails. If they'd prefer spotless perfection, there are any number of grand hotels available for them to visit. Just tell them that this year you are doing things differently... because this year, you plan on enjoying yourself, too!

Don't insist warring factions within the family suddenly and miraculously make-up and be friends. Keep them apart - sit them at opposite ends of the table. Ask your guests to help you serve the meals and clean up afterwards. You are NOT a hotel, remember?

Yes, you can be stressed by all the fuss made at this time of year, but as with any emotion, it is your choice. You can allow yourself to feel stressed by it all, or you can step back and decide to think about it in a different way this year.

Stop demanding perfection. Stop expecting and wanting things to be "just so". Lighten up and for once, you might just enjoy the festive season, and if you can't, then simply, don't do it! Go away next year. Stay in a hotel. Do whatever it takes for you to feel relaxed... just don't go on and on complaining about how this time of the year stresses you. This time of the year doesn't do anything... YOU stress yourself!

Terri Levine
http://www.comprehensivecoachingu.com
http://www.terrilevine.com
http://www.coachinstitute.com

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

How to Survive the Office Xmas Party with your Dignity Intact

Well, I can really answer this in one sentence: Don't do anything stupid! But that doesn't make for much of a blog, so let's elucidate a little...

  • Know the "rules". Are you allowed to bring your partner or is it strictly staff only?

  • Do you need to RSVP? Do so if you are required to.

  • Dress accordingly - the venue will determine what you should wear but if you are not sure, ask.

  • Don't assume anything - some companies can afford to provide an open bar for their staff parties and some cannot. Make sure you bring sufficient funds with you to cover your own drinks AND the cab fare home!

  • I know somebody has to be the first to arrive at the party, but that doesn't have to be you! It's not good to be the last to arrive either - if the office party involves a formal sit down dinner, your late arrival will be rude. If the start time is 7.00 pm, try arriving between 7.15 pm and 7.30 pm. Don't make other arrangements for the same evening - it will not look good if you have to leave early to attend another engagement!

  • Be sober when you arrive! Don't go getting drunk, bar hopping on the way to the venue!

  • Likewise, don't head straight for the bar when you arrive. Mix first and say hello. If you have brought somebody with you, make sure you introduce them to everyone.

  • This is one of those occasions when it is a good thing to be friendly with your Boss' wife. When I say friendly, I don't mean flirty - I mean make conversation; be polite. In fact, be friendly and make conversation with all the invited spouses - make them feel welcome. Some will be feeling uncomfortable, perhaps among strangers.

  • Don't talk shop. Discuss sports, the weather, ask about families, children, plans for the holidays or whatever.

  • Don't flirt! Now is not the time to make your moves on the secretary or any other co-worker you've had your eye on the past months!

  • Watch your language! If you watch your drinking, drink slow and sensibly, you are less at risk of making a fool of yourself or losing control over your language. This means be careful about the types of jokes you tell also!

  • When it's time to eat, avoid sloppy foods - unless you are an adept with the cutlery. You will not make a good impression on the CEO if you have food stains on your tie! And do remember your manners at the dinner table. If you are unsure, wait until others start eating and follow their example. Don't talk with your mouth full. Chew your food slowly. Don't burp!

  • Of course, you have to enjoy yourself too. If there is dancing, join in. If there are "games", join in.

Don't forget, important people in your company will be watching you - and how you conduct yourself at events such as these can make or break your career!

Terri Levine
http://www.comprehensivecoachingu.com
http://www.terrilevine.com
http://www.coachinstitute.com

Friday, December 16, 2005

Guide To Proper Introductions

Every now and then I like to get on my soapbox about manners... manners are going the way of the dinosaur! In the past, parents taught their kids manners... then we learned a different kind of courtesy when we started out in our careers - manners for business situations. These days, seems people are too busy to include "manners" in their training! We're growing into a rude society of ignorant, me-me-me, so and so's who don't deserve ANYBODY's business! (Yes, thank you, that does feel better!)

Today, my "soapbox" special is about introductions...

Have you ever had to introduce people to one another and found yourself a bit tongue-tied?

Here are a few situations where people often get stuck: who gets introduced first, forgetting names, and when to introduce yourself.

Business etiquette always prevails but most people never receive formal instruction in this. So, here are the "rules" that seems most of us have never been taught.

  1. Always introduce the older person to the younger person:
    "John Smith, I would like to introduce you to Bill Evans."

  2. Use proper language: "Janice Jones, I'd like you to meet
    Sue Robins."

  3. If you are not introduced to someone, wait a few seconds
    and then say: "Hi. I'm Harry Higgins." And yes, you can offer
    your hand to shake.

  4. When you forget a name: "Why don't you introduce yourselves
    to each other since I am so bad with names?" (Said with a
    twinkle in your eye!)

Recently, someone told me about a network function they attended and a person they had met once before was there and they really wanted his business! So up he goes and just before he puts out his hand, he realizes he can't remember the other guy's name! So thinking quickly, he whips out his diary and says, "I don't think you had any business cards left last time we met and I just wrote your name in my diary... I just want to check the spelling because you know how tricky names can be!" The other guy smiled and spelled out obligingly: "T E D S M I T H".

So, on meeting, it is a good idea to ask the other person if they have a business card!

Until next week...

Terri Levine
http://www.comprehensivecoachingu.com
http://www.terrilevine.com
http://www.coachinstitute.com

Thursday, December 15, 2005

How Are Your Verbals?

Whether you are a Speaker or a "thinking about it" speaker, you need to think about this...

When you speak, do you inspire, persuade, and enthuse, or do you send people to sleep? When you look out over your audience, are they captivated by you and you have their full attention? Or when you look out over the room is one group discussing something secret with their heads together, someone else sneaking out of the room with some other sneaky friends, and people starting to do their own thing? Maybe some really are snoring! You get the idea.

If you fall into the latter category, fear not my dull friend...

Good verbal skills can be easily acquired, and to get you started, here are a few tips:

  • Speak energetically, with enthusiasm - vary your pitch - don't just speak in a monotone - sound excited.
  • Speak with feeling. Speak with sincerity - of course, in speaking thus, you must always mean what you say!
  • Don't "preach" - give examples. People understand more by example. Get your point across via a story.
  • Speak clearly, slowly, and in simple terms that everyone can understand - don't try to impress by using big words or jargon!
  • Speak animatedly - make twinkling eye contact - move your hands a little (but don't conduct an orchestra!)

That should do for starters... oh, forgot something really important - pick an interesting subject! (Creative Uses for Toenail Clippings just may not do it for everybody, get what I mean?)

Until next time...

Terri Levine
http://www.comprehensivecoachingu.com
http://www.terrilevine.com
http://www.coachinstitute.com

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

10 Ways to Lose Customers

If you are in a 'live' business as opposed to a 'virtual' online business and you actually deal firsthand with your customers, if you want to make the most of the buying frenzy this and any other special season, make sure your staff don't makes these mistakes!

There are many things which drive all of us, in our capacity of "customers" absolutely crazy. Things which can turn us off buying from certain shops and businesses. Some of the most irritating things which drive us crazy include:

  1. Queuing up in a long line at a cash register because despite the crowd, the other registers are closed!

  2. Waiting to be served while the salesclerks stand behind the counter chatting about what they did on the weekend or take private calls!

  3. Rearranging our busy schedules so we can stay home all day waiting for a tradesman who never turns up or comes hours later, and never bothers to ring to tell you!

  4. Being given wrong information from salesclerks who don't know what they're talking about!

  5. Being served in person or on the phone by a lazy salesperson who can't be bothered finding out for you and will either lie to you or just say 'its not my department' and leave it hanging there!

  6. Misleading advertising!

  7. Being quoted a price by a salesclerk, only to discover later that the real price is higher!

  8. Sales items are not in stock. What? Did they only have one to sell at sales price?

  9. Rude salesclerks. Sales and store people who patronize you with their attitude.

  10. Hanging around a store waiting for service - you can see clerks available but they don't want to do any work! Or worse, being tailed like a potential shoplifter!

Of course, your staff are likely to be on their best behavior if you stand around them... why not have an unknown friend or relative come into your store and put your staff to the test!

Till next time...

Terri Levine
http://www.comprehensivecoachingu.com
http://www.terrilevine.com
http://www.coachinstitute.com

Friday, December 09, 2005

3 Steps to Prosperity - Step 3

The last part of the prosperity coaching process is to give money away.

I don't care if you are in a place of lacking for money right now, give something away. Pay for another car going through a toll booth, or give a friend something. As you give money away, you open up the channels of yourself receiving money. You show that you are believing (maybe not fully, yet) that there is abundance and that you trust that more will come back to you. This puts you in alignment with prosperity.

I have seen this in action. It is a universal law and it works. Until you feel confident and discover for yourself that this does work, start off with small donations. Give away your small change to all the small charity boxes in stores. Help out the old lady at the checkout ahead of you who is $5 short to pay her shopping bill. Give generously in your Church when the plate is passed around.

What goes around, comes around! If you hoard your money, you halt the process and effectively block any more coming to you... you have to keep the flow going...

Look at all of the wealthiest people in the world today - major business leaders and entrepreneurs, even famous singers and movie stars - these people spend hundreds of thousands on donations and doing things for those less fortunate than themselves. And yet, they never seem to run out of money, even though they're giving it all away! They know that somehow, it will come back to them plus more via some wonderful new opportunity or "amazing strike of good luck"!

I tell my clients, "you are allowed to have it all!". There is nothing that stops you from having financial independence but you - I know that's hard to hear. We'd rather blame someone or something else, right? It is time for you to declare YOUR financial freedom and create the money you deserve!

You've got the 3 basic steps, so what's stopping you?

Terri Levine
http://www.comprehensivecoachingu.com
http://www.terrilevine.com
http://www.coachinstitute.com

Thursday, December 08, 2005

3 Steps to Prosperity - Step 2

I've never believed whoever created me said "you should suffer" or "you should starve"...

I believe my creator said, "We have this energy exchange; it is called money. There is an abundance of it. Go give it, go get it, go enjoy it, and feel free to want to give and get lots of it."

No wonder I've never experienced a financial lack. My inner beliefs aren't in alignment with financial lack. I have financial independence because my inner story creates the outer match to money. And that is what I was talking about in Step 1.

Now for Step 2...

I start my clients off by having them write a money story. I ask them to go decade by decade writing their own beliefs or stories about money, without judging them, just noticing them. People surface up all kinds of things from "money is the root of all evil" to "get enough money to burn". It is interesting to see what your own beliefs are. I highly recommend, to let in prosperity and financial independence, you begin to notice what you have heard or believed.

Separate the wheat from the chaff here... discard the beliefs you've inherited from well meaning parents or teachers. If you've been told that you'll never be rich simply because you come from a poor family yourself... well, that's one belief to toss away right now!

Then create a desire list. Come up with all the things you want that money can bring, like: ability to give to a certain foundation; a health care treatment; a new home, etc. Money doesn't come if we have a low desire for it and aren't feeling good about attracting it. When we get into a place of feeling high desire and feeling great about what we want to have that comes with money, then we are opening up to money coming in.

This is no time for feeling guilty. Everyone can put themselves in a place of abundance - the only thing holding them back is their limiting beliefs - their self sabotage. And you are not personally responsible for the way the entire world's population thinks, right? If you want to improve the world, you can only start with yourself. I think abundance is a great form of self-improvement - sure beats poverty, right?!

Terri Levine
http://www.terrilevine.com
http://www.comprehensivecoachingu.com
http://www.coachinstitute.com

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

3 Steps to Prosperity - Step 1

This is a nutshell version for people in a hurry. You'll get the other 2 steps throughout this week... so you have to come back!

The attitudes we hold about money and finances are often the reasons we don't have the financial independence we deserve. In fact, the only obstacle that truly stands in our way is usually our own beliefs.

Many times, people say to shift your beliefs just use more positive self-talk and you'll remove the obstacle. My experience as a prosperity coach, says that simply isn't what it takes. We have to go a bit deeper to allow a prosperity consciousness.

So here's Step 1:

You must first change your conscious feelings that stand in the way of seeing yourself as financially free and abundant. To begin this process, you'll need to identify why you even want to have financial independence.

Often, clients I am coaching say, "Of course, I want financial independence," and then when I ask them to really look at this with me, they might not see prosperity as good or might fear success or the concept of unlimited money. To pave the way to allow money in, most of us have to understand on a deep level that there is plenty of money. Think about this.. money is created by printing paper or molding coins... we can never run out!

If we feel there is a limited amount of money and fear that if we make a large share of it, there won't be enough for others, that fear of scarcity will drive us NOT to make money.

Can you see how we can get ourselves stuck?

Whatever we focus on and think about is what we intentionally create. So, if I say I want more money but underneath I am thinking "oh, I won't be able to manage more money" or "my friend needs it more" or "I don't deserve money" or even "this is a load of codswallop, I'll never be rich!", then that thought that we focus on is the dominant thought and the money gets blocked off. It is almost like self-sabotage.

So what are your real thoughts about financial abundance? How would you really feel if it fell in your lap? If you'd have any fear or doubts at all about how you would handle it or how you would react, then you have a blockage!

Terri Levine
http://www.coachinstitute.com
http://www.terrilevine.com

Friday, December 02, 2005

Are You Failing... or just Learning?

I was watching a friend's 7 year old riding her bike for the first time without those "trainer" wheels attached. She wobbled, she wavered, she yelled "Ya-hooey" (or something like that), straightened up, turned and faced us proudly and waved… then promptly proceeded to hit the curb and fall off.

We said she was doing fine, learning to ride her bike. Notice we didn't say anything about failing to ride her bike!

This got me thinking... we're nice to babies, too. Up they hop on fat wobbly legs, and usually only manage a couple of shaky steps before they fall on their heavily padded bottoms. When they fall over, we encourage them because we say they're learning to walk. Note: we do NOT tell them they are bad babies for failing to walk!

What about when your older child goes for their first real big job... and doesn't get it. (We know they didn't get it because they're kicking their bottom lip as they walk up to the house.) Do we scowl and mock them? Do we say things like, "You fool! Even a turkey sandwich could have landed that job! You're a failure at job hunting!" No, we don't say things like that. We are encouraging because our children are learning about what it's like in the "real world".

We consider all these types of experiences to be learning experiences... not failing experiences. In fact, falling on your bum, off your bike, getting rejected ... these are simply experiences in life. You may choose to think of them as failures but will that make you feel better? You don't quit, do you? You keep trying to walk, to ride, to get a dream job and so on... so you aren't failing... you are learning.

Not sure what brought this on... something to do with learning to ride... but there is a message in this for you. Read it again and if you are currently telling yourself that you are a failure in some aspect of life, it's time you reworded that...

Until next time...

Terri Levine
http://www.coachinstitute.com
http://www.terrilevine.com

Thursday, December 01, 2005

"That's a Funny Thing to Say..."

If your clients or customers ask for something strange or say something unexpected, do you tend to respond with comments like, "What an odd thing to say!" or "Wow, I've never been asked THAT before!" or any other response that in any way suggests you consider their comment or question unusual?

Even if you laugh it off, realize this... most people feel awkward or embarrassed when they're made to feel they've uttered something different to everyone else. They don't like to be seen as stupid or silly, and 9 times out of 10, they usually know they're asking a doozy of a question anyway and may even tell you so themselves.

Keep a straight face - your client's dignity must be maintained at all costs. Do not laugh or seem surprised or incredulous. Merely reassure them that "No question is too silly" or too different or too out there or too whatever.

Be cool, calm and collected - show them what you're made of - by handling their strange request or comment completely at ease and by all means taking it in your stride, then you are confirming to them that you are a true professional who knows your stuff and can be trusted.

Easy to remember, really... nobody likes to feel like a fool.

Terri Levine
http://www.coachinstitute.com
http://www.terrilevine.com

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Get a Shot - Not a Virus

Winter approaches. Flu viruses are headed your way. GO GET A FLU SHOT NOW! No, a flu shot cannot protect you from every flu virus nor the brand new strains - some of which are killers - but what it can do is reduce the severity or duration of your symptoms if you DO get struck by a flu virus this winter.

If getting a flu shot gives you a fighting chance this winter, get one. With our extensive international contacts, we know that the bird flu isn't the ONLY virus causing folks a great deal of suffering this year (in those parts of the world where flu viruses are still running rampant), and we in the northern hemisphere have the prospect of facing these viruses this winter!

If you're a business owner, it may even be in your best interests to subsidize the cost of flu shots for your employees... if you value their productivity that is!

'nuff said! Go do as you're told!

Terri Levine
http://www.coachinstitute.com
http://www.terrilevine.com

Friday, November 25, 2005

What Type of Fear is It?

For some people, some experiences, especially new experiences, produce fear in them. Fear of the unknown is not uncommon and explains why so many people prefer to stay where they are rather than explore opportunities.

Let's talk about two different kinds of fear: one is an exciting type of fear, and another is a more negative type of fear.

The exciting type of fear is the sort of fear you feel as you are about to parachute out of an airplane. (If you are reading this and the thought of parachuting terrifies you, substitute this with an experience that you would find fun, yet maybe a little scary, too. Maybe riding a roller-coaster will do it?)

The more negative type of fear is similar to how you feel when, for example, you are headed to your dental appointment for a procedure that worries you - like a root canal! (Funny how so many people can relate to that - so many comparisons are made to root canals!)

So next time you face a new experience, determine what type of fear it is that you are feeling. Decide whether it is justified. (Entering a lion's den at feeding time, with no protection would be a justified fear - watching the lion feed from behind the safety fence would not.)

Know that you CAN handle either type of fear, but it is your RESPONSE that will determine your success. Is yours the exhilarating fear of a parachute jump or a trip to the Dentist? Your goal is to have the exciting fears outnumber the negative fear experiences. When you face a new experience or challenge, a little fear-analysis can go a long way!

BUNGEEEEE!!!!!

Terri Levine
http://www.coachinstitute.com
http://www.terrilevine.com

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

TIME WASTERS!

The last blog got me thinking... it's not always that we don't have enough time in our days to achieve everything... it's more that we don't have enough time in our days to achieve the things we WANT to do! By the time we've done the things we feel obligated to do, sometimes there is no time left over for us. Ever felt that way?

Despair not, dear blog reader! All you need to do is adjust your priorities and reevaluate your expectations. A little bit of reorganization and deleting hidden time-wasting elements from our days can free up more than enough time for the things we WANT to do. Truly!

So, where do you start on this project? Here are some tips...

  1. Have a jolly good clean-out! Get rid of the junk and clutter - whether it be too many ornaments that take hours to dust, or a mountain of paperwork, most of which doesn't have to be kept but you haven't gotten around to sorting through it yet. The idea is to clear your space - it will help you feel better and the energy around you will feel freer.

  2. Do you have a system in place for your important information? Many people are more organized in their office than they are at home! Get a second hand filing cabinet and start filing! Knowing exactly where to find an important document quickly will save you hours of searching and stressing.

  3. Prioritize and schedule your day - but be flexible. Allow for unexpected events, visitors, mishaps, illness or just can't be bothered moments. At the end of the day, any of this unused extra time is all YOURS. If you have to, shut your door and take the phone off the hook so you can work uninterrupted.

  4. Stop putting things off. If a task is so unpalatable that you keep finding excuses not to start it, just DO it! Get it out of the way and you'll feel a whole lot better when you don't have it hanging over you like a dark cloud.

Of course, time management issues may not be the only thing holding you back and messing up your days, but you won't know for sure what your time waster culprits are until you examine your days.

Hey, I have a good idea! Why not hire a coach to help you! You can find one here: http://www.coachinginstruction.com/findacoach.htm

Terri Levine
http://www.coachinstitute.com
http://www.terrilevine.com

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

DO YOU CONTROL YOUR LIFE OR DOES IT CONTROL YOU?

Do you feel caught in a perpetual tug-o-war between the needs of your family and the demands of your work? If so, you've got a lot of company. Balance has become the Holy Grail in the new world of work.

What is balance? Let's begin by talking about what balance is not. Balance is not about squeezing as much as possible into every second of every day. Balance is not about double booking your schedule or worshipping a ten page "To Do" list. Balance is not about being a slave to email. No, balance is about savoring life. Balance is about listening to your favorite music or eating lunch in the sunshine on a beautiful day. Balance is about making choices that allow you to be YOU in the best way possible.

Achieving balance begins with tossing out time management tools. Realize that time management tools are just that -- tools. Not "laws". They are only effective when used in the right situation. Would you use a tape measure to plug a leaky pipe? Probably not. Too many of us have blindly embraced a generic "one-size-fits-all" time management lifestyle in our quest to squeeze more things into our lives. But do you really want to do MORE things...or do you want to do MORE MEANINGFUL things?

Go for balance by building your life around what is truly important to you.

Terri Levine
http://www.coachinstitute.com
http://www.terrilevine.com

Friday, November 18, 2005

Avoiding Work From Home Scams and Pitfalls

Work from Home: a veritable cornucopia of self-employment opportunities exists, and for the unwary and unprepared, an equal number of pitfalls exist. There is so much hype about going solo, and there are also get-rich-quick schemes, pyramid schemes, scams, get-paid-to-surf or take surveys etc. to be avoided.

Don't quit your day job without doing your homework. Before considering any drastic moves, realize that it is going to require hard work and commitment. There is no such thing as easy money. Plan properly in the first place. Accept that you are going to make mistakes - nobody is perfect and nobody knows everything there is to know up front. Be prepared to learn from your mistakes and move forward. Don't expect instant results, instant fame, or instant fortune. There is nothing instant about starting your own business.

This means making sure you have money to fall back on during the lean or quiet times and having enough to start up with in the first place. If in doubt, get financial advice first - see a financial planner who can help you get things right from the beginning. Set goals and make sure they are realistic. Keep your focus on your goals and maintain a positive, "can do" attitude. When you have done your research and settled on a business, make sure you know the regulations governing your home based business. Do you need any approvals? A business license? Do you need a special permit to work out of your home? Check with your local authorities. Do you need to inform the IRS of your change in circumstances? Do you need to register your business?

Do some market research - is there a market for your product/service? Will it be profitable for you? What about the competition? How do you plan to stack up against the competition? Can you compete? How are your skill levels and knowledge or work-experience? Do you know enough to start your own business and be successful? Your skills and abilities will also determine what type of business would be most suitable for you. Doing something you love is the ideal, because you are more likely to work harder but still enjoy yourself so it doesn't really seem like work.

Do you really have what it takes to be self-employed? Are you the entrepreneurial type? Do you enjoy risk taking? Does it bother you that you don't know how much money you will have month to month? Do you realize that self-employed people often have a more difficult time trying to arrange bank finance? Remember you will also have to cover your own healthcare costs. And you will be working alone. Some people go stir-crazy just thinking about working alone!

Finally, are you self-motivated? Can you make yourself stay in your home office and work even though the sun is shining and there's a great movie on TV you haven't seen? Remember, you will be your own Boss now and your own employee. Various, independent surveys have found that the skills most lacking in new self-employed businesses involve sales, marketing, financial management, and record keeping (book-keeping). How will you cover these things? Can you afford to pay somebody else to look after these? Do you know enough about these areas to handle them yourself, or are you prepared to learn?

Perhaps the most important assets are self-confidence and ambition. Without these, you may be doomed from the start, but with them, you will be able to overcome your obstacles, climb your mountains, and enjoy the view from the top!

Until next week... have a good one!

Terri Levine
http://www.coachinstitute.com
http://www.terrilevine.com

Thursday, November 17, 2005

WHERE'S THE FUN IN GROWING UP?

We could be adult about this and present our thoughts and ideas in a logical and mature fashion, but where would be the fun in that? If you want a serious and sensible read to remind you how grown up you are or should be, check out the local library. But if you are here now, let's have FUN.

As "mature" adults, we tend to forget how to have fun. We put rules around it. Why should we have fun? Well, let me ask you, why shouldn't we have fun? When we reach a certain age is having fun illegal? Doing "child-like" things doesn't make us childish or children. How can it? What is the worst that can happen if this winter, you go outside with your children or grandchildren and make snow angels?

We're not suggesting you should start throwing tantrums, but we are saying fun doesn't stop just because you become an adult and take on solemn responsibilities. Why shouldn't CEO's run around in their backyard throwing Frisbees, and why shouldn't adult guests in your car wave to people out the back window, and why shouldn't we all do the things we loved to do when we were kids, if it makes us feel happy and alive inside and puts a smile on our faces? Perhaps we think it is childish? And somehow, that tag, when you're an adult, becomes an insult.

I want you to think about that this week... right now I'm off to a tea-party!

Terri Levine
http://www.coachinstitute.com
http://www.terrilevine.com

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

When You're Not Good Enough - Part 3 (Final)

When you are feeling "down", this is when you are most likely to remember "down" experiences, which just makes you feel even more down. When you feel down, force yourself to remember happy events and successes - this will influence your brain and help lift your mood and self-esteem.

When you are engaging in self-talk - watch what you say. Most people say things to themselves that they'd never say to somebody else. To a friend we might say, "it's not that bad, don't worry about it." To ourselves, we're likely to say "You great @#*&#! - why can't you do anything right!" If you wouldn't say it to somebody else, don't say it to yourself.

Realize that self-confident people also have bouts of self-doubt... they just don't talk about it or advertise it. By pretending they're not, it helps them overcome it.

Failure isn't permanent unless you decide to let it be. But not everything you do has to work out... nobody is that perfect!

It's good manners to be obliging but it isn't a law. You don't have to please everyone all the time. You have a right to please yourself. If you weren't as important as everyone else on the planet, then you wouldn't be here.

You don't have to change to suit other people. Don't try to be somebody you are not. The whole world doesn't have to like you, and that's okay. For every person who doesn't like you, there is another one who does like you - for who you are.

Use positive affirmations. Start each day by saying them, and end each day saying them before you go to sleep.

Some food for thought...

"While one person hesitates because he feels inferior, the other is busy making mistakes and becoming superior." - Henry C. Link

"Someone's opinion of you does not have to become your reality." - Les Brown

"If you think you're a second-class citizen, you are." - Ted Turner

"Nobody holds a good opinion of a man who has a low opinion of himself." - Anthony Trollope

And if you're reading this blog, you can't be all bad! (smile)

Terri Levine
http://www.coachinstitute.com
http://www.terrilevine.com

Friday, November 11, 2005

CREATIVE PROBLEM SOLVING

Next time you face a problem, try reversing the problem. Say you are hosting a seminar and need to increase sponsorship. Sit down and make a list of all the ways you know how to DECREASE sponsorship. Or say you need to increase productivity in your department... make a list of all the ways you know to DECREASE productivity. The answers to your problems will be found in your lists. You can find problems you may not have been aware of before, and identifying them makes it easier to fix them!

Often, the real problem is masked. When discussing problems, try stating the problem in different ways, and ask for differing viewpoints. Explaining the problem to others out loud helps clarify it. Sometimes exploring what you DON'T want to happen can be just as useful as exploring what you DO want to happen!

Sometimes it is a matter of asking the right questions when we want the answer to problems. Sometimes we need to ask "What if..." questions. This is where your imagination comes in handy. Brainstorm!

Study how others have handled similar problems. Adapt their "answers" to meet your needs, or add their solutions to your list of possible remedies!

Don't settle for the first solution offered. You may find you end up with several possible solutions and one of them will be better than the rest.

Keep notes of your possible solutions - they may come in handy for future brainstorming sessions when discussing new problems.

Terri Levine
http://www.coachinstitute.com
http://www.terrilevine.com

Thursday, November 10, 2005

The Mexican Fisherman

The investment banker was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several large yellow fin tuna. The Banker complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took to catch them. The Mexican replied, only a little while.

The Banker then asked why didn't he stay out longer and catch more fish? The Mexican said he had enough to support his family's immediate needs. The banker then asked, "but what do you do with the rest of your time?"

The Mexican fisherman said, "I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take siesta with my wife, Maria, stroll into the village each evening where I sip wine and play guitar with my amigos, I have a full and busy life."

The banker scoffed, "I am a Harvard MBA and could help you. You should spend more time fishing and with the proceeds, buy a bigger boat with the proceeds from the bigger boat you could buy several boats, eventually you would have a fleet of fishing boats. Instead of selling your catch to a middleman you would sell directly to the processor, eventually opening your own cannery. You would control the product, processing and distribution. You would need to leave this small coastal fishing village and move to Mexico City, then LA and eventually NYC where you will run your expanding enterprise."

The Mexican fisherman asked, "But, how long will this all take?"

To which the banker replied, "15-20 years."

"But what then?"

The banker laughed and said that's the best part. "When the time is right you would announce an IPO and sell your company stock to the public and become very rich, you would make millions."

"Millions... Then what?"

The banker said, "Then you would retire. Move to a small coastal fishing village where you would sleep late, fish a little, play with your kids, take siesta with your wife, stroll to the village in the evenings where you could sip wine and play your guitar with your amigos."

Terri Levine
http://www.coachinstitute.com
http://www.terrilevine.com

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

When You're Not Good Enough - Part 2

"I'm too self-conscious"
Think about a time when you were really having a great time and enjoying yourself, or when you achieved something special... I bet you weren't thinking about yourself then... you were too engrossed in the situation or moment. When you start to think about yourself and you feel your esteem slipping, turn your focus to something else - concentrate on the task at hand or whatever you are doing... and if your "self" continues to invade your thoughts, just keep repeating "This is okay, I'm okay", and refocus on something else.

"That was just good luck"
Was it? Or was it something more? When something works out well for you, don't just write it off as 'good luck'... realize that in most cases we create our own 'good luck' situations, so you must have done something to have earned the success. Start to take credit for your successes - pat yourself on the back and say, "Well done, self!"

"I just can't be bothered..."
Why not? If you are so lacking in confidence that it's got to this stage, start doing things you know you are good at - and it can be anything! Doing something you know you are good at, and doing it well because of that, is a surefire way of boosting your self-esteem. Do things you are good at often - keep your self-esteem up and it will make a difference when the times comes for you to do something new or different. Maybe you are good at cooking, or writing, or dancing, or arts... it doesn't have to be something serious.

"I'm too uptight"
Try meditation, exercise, Tai Chi, or relaxation tapes. It's hard to think straight when we're stressed or uptight and anxious. Relaxing helps you to get things back into perspective and think clearly.

"I'm never right"
Really? Never? You'd best contact the Guinness Book of Records then. Make a list of the times when you were right, and remember, nobody is right all the time... in fact, there are people who are wrong many times, but they don't let that stop them or their enthusiasm for life. You are allowed to be wrong... none of us are perfect and nobody is right all the time.

Stay tuned for Part 3 next week...

Terri Levine
http://www.coachinstitute.com
http://www.terrilevine.com

Saturday, November 05, 2005

"Get a Life"

When one of my Assistant's daughters was just 6 years old, she said something that reminded us about the simple wisdom of children. One day, having an in-depth discussion about life, spirituality, goals, etc., when my assistant asked her daughter what she thought was the most important thing about being alive, she replied:

"Having a life."

And therein lies a lesson for all of us!

Here is what is not important about being alive...

  1. Have the biggest house on the street
  2. Driving the most expensive car
  3. Owning more shoes than your friends
  4. Earning more money than your rival
  5. Being bigger, better, and more important than everyone else
  6. Wearing designer label clothes
  7. Looking like a Barbie Doll or a skinny model from Vogue

There's more but I'm sure you get the picture.

Now, here is what IS important about being alive...

  1. Having a roof over your head - a place to call home, however humble.
  2. Having transport whether it's public or a run-down old heap that saves you from having to walk long distances in appalling weather!
  3. Having feet upon which to wear shoes and being able to walk on them!
  4. Earning any kind of income that enables you to feed and clothe yourself and your family and living in a country where the Government will help you out if you're really down.
  5. Knowing and feeling the connection and that you are part of everything there is... you are connected to the richest man in your city and the poorest... we are all part of the whole - we all belong here.
  6. Having any kind of clothing on your back and not having to wear rags or beg for loin cloths!

  7. Being healthy and being loved - regardless of what we look like. You know you're really loved when you're poor, you look like the bottom of a shoe, you live in a car and none of that matters to the people loving you! (The plastic-surgically enhanced Barbies and Kens of the world don't have this guarantee... and if you don't have their hang ups, consider yourself very lucky.)

So, be thankful for your feet, your eyes, your nose, your ears, your hands - everything. Then look around this beautiful world and appreciate the trees, the flowers, the sunsets, the birdsong, walks along the beach... take it all in... it's special, it's free and it's what having a life is all about!

Until next week...

Terri Levine
http://www.coachinstitute.com
http://www.terrilevine.com

Thursday, November 03, 2005

Trust and Commitment

As I contemplated on this theme of self-confidence, two qualities came up that go along with it and they are: Trust and Commitment. Having self-confidence is a reflection of our viewpoint in regards to how much we value ourselves, trust in our inner voices, and stay committed to this agreement we make with ourselves.

In our youth we are taught certain correct behaviors that are acceptable to society. Even though I acknowledge that in many ways this is an important part of maturing, being successful at these behaviors can also encourage us to slip into a performance based behavior rather than being authentic and true to ourselves.

I call this the strategic self - acting in whatever strategy is needed in order to bring about the result one wants. Think about a time when you were using anger to control a situation, pouting to show your unhappiness, alluring to be attractive, or yelling to get something accomplished. These "selves" are not your true self - which comes from working from the heart - they are learned behaviors, strategies so to speak. These are the selves created by the mind and also the ones in which we build our self-esteem around, mainly because they are so familiar to us (habits).

So, how does one shift from the mind to the heart? How does one build their self-confidence based on values, on love? It starts with commitment to focus on who you are rather than on what you do. Think about your gifts and strengths - parts of you that come from the heart. When we judge ourselves by what we do, what we wear, what our income level is, what car we drive, what house we live in, we are putting our trust in mind created, external realities. And does this bring joy?

Sometimes, but it's not long lasting because it's always in the state of change. Our looks change, our income changes, our friends and family come and go and we struggle to find balance. However, when we focus on being grateful for our sense of humor, our ability to forgive, our love for all of nature, whatever, this act of trusting opens our hearts and everything becomes effortless.

What do we get when we commit to focus on "being" rather than on "doing"? I have found I am more relaxed, peaceful, more playful and more confident. In short, I become empowered which gives me the strength to move forward, improve my life and have a constant flow of inner joy. So, be grateful for who you are, trust your heart to guide you and stay committed to make this awareness a top priority moment to moment. The feeling of overall well-being will be worth it.

Terri Levine
http://www.coachinstitute.com
http://www.terrilevine.com/

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

So, You're Not "Good Enough", eh?

Or maybe you are saying you're not pretty enough, handsome enough, smart enough, rich enough...?

Eleanor Roosevelt said, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." And truer words were never spoken!

Not discounting those who may have been born with a predisposition to feelings of inadequacy, the majority of people who suffer poor self-esteem are the result of conditioning. Perhaps their parents or teachers were overly critical, and said things like, "You'll never amount to anything!" or "Is that the best you can do?!" or compared them unfavorably to brothers and sisters.

An inferiority complex goes hand in hand with lack of self-confidence and can be the difference between getting a great job or promotion or living a life of mediocrity. Here are some tips for handling and dealing with the different ways low self-esteem affects us and our lives.

"I'm not good enough"

Really? Can you prove that? Is this why you don't go for those great jobs or promotions or any of your dreams? If you aren't "good enough" in terms of skills or education, go and get the skills and education you need for the job or promotion you want. It's never too late - as the growing number of adult education centers bears testimony to.

Try to be realistic... are you really not good enough, or is this just something you've heard and have been repeating to yourself for so long that you can't even remember how it started? Take a look at your track record - list all your achievements, big and small - you'll find your plenty "good enough" after all! (Hey, now I'm a poet!)

You can always be "good enough" at work by simply being and doing the best you can. Arrive on time; don't take "sickies" unless you really are sick; be helpful and cooperative to others; learn your own job so well that you're an expert at it; don't loaf; don't dawdle back to work after lunch; make every effort to get along with your boss and fellow workers - display a cheerful, cooperative disposition. If you are stressed, learn how to handle it - there are books, tapes, websites, and experts who can help you identify and conquer the stress in your life.

If you are already doing these things, then you ARE good enough. If you aren't, you can start now and if you find some habits hard to change, just pretend, and soon you will have developed the newer, successful habit and will no longer have to pretend.

Next week, I'll tell you about some other ways in which we feel not good enough and how to conquer them.

Terri Levine
http://www.coachinstitute.com
http://www.terrilevine.com

Friday, October 28, 2005

THE POSITIVE SIDE OF FAILURE

Failed recently? Or felt like a failure? You know, failing isn't the "bad guy". Sure, at the time it might not feel so wonderful, but there are benefits to be gained from failing that you can't get from success! Failing gets such bad press and I think it's time we reviewed that. Let's start by looking on the bright side:

  • Failure strengthens us, making us more resilient and much harder to knock down next time.

  • We really know what we're made of when the going gets tough or the chips are down. Failure gives us a chance to prove that to ourselves and the world!

  • Our failures actually teach us what we need to do to succeed, because in failing, at the very least we know what DOESN'T work!

  • It keeps us humble - nobody likes a big-head!

  • Failure eventually leads to success... if you don't give up! It's a motivating challenge! Think of failure as a stepping stone. It is NOT permanent.

  • We appreciate our successes all that much more after a failure or two and don't take the process for granted!

Next time you experience a failure, think of it as a right of passage and congratulate yourself on your progress! If you're failing, it just means you haven't quite got "it" right yet, but at least you're giving it a go and sooner or later you're going to land the big one!

Terri Levine
http://www.coachinstitute.com
http://www.terrilevine.com

Thursday, October 27, 2005

Singing the "I ain't got no respect, so I can’t give you any either..." blues

This comes back to taking pride in yourself and in the job that you do. One of the biggest complaints from customers these days is the lack of customer service. You can get noticed (for all the right reasons) by providing excellent customer service. But don't just think customers are those external people who buy your company's products or services... your customers are also your fellow workers within the company to whom you provide services and information. In this context, your own manager is one of your customers. The people in the sales department are your customers. The people in the Accounts department are your customers. Treat all your customers with respect and give them excellent service.

If you're singing the "my boss doesn't care, the sales department doesn't follow up on leads and the accounts people are lax with the paperwork" blues... rise above them. Be the better person. Stand out in the crowd of blues singers and provide them all with excellent customer service. Sooner or later, people will start talking about you - in positive, bright tones! Your new attitude may even start to rub off on them! You will enjoy the satisfaction of a job well done... and of course, your fellow blues-singing workmates may still be singing the blues because there is no satisfaction in doing mediocre work... there is no sense of pride in a job poorly done.

Terri Levine
http://www.coachinstitute.com
http://www.terrilevine.com

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

STILL SINGIN' THE BLUES...

This week it's the "I can't get no satisfaction..." blues.

Whilst we'd all like to believe Companies have become places of enlightenment, who finally realize their greatest asset is their employees, and providing them with fulfilling and satisfying career opportunities is on top of their agenda, sadly, this is not the case.

If you are in a situation where perhaps you cannot easily find a new job and temporarily, for financial reasons or whatever, must stay put, realize that every job has the possibility of providing you with the satisfaction you seek, and as it is YOUR life and YOUR job, it is YOUR responsibility to put "oomph" into it!

First, take pride in what you do. All jobs are important, otherwise they would not exist... therefore, what you do IS important.

Be very clear about what you expect from your job. List what you do like and what you don't like about your current job. Put on your thinking cap... can you do anything about the tasks you don't like to make them more acceptable to you?

Consider discussing your role with your manager. How can he or she help you brighten up your position so you get more enjoyment from it. If your manager doesn't know you are unhappy, he won't know you need help. It may be possible to incorporate a new and more interesting task to your job, something you'll look forward to doing. Or maybe you can re-work an existing task schedule to make it more interesting. Now, we're not saying every Company will embrace this, but you won't know, if you don’t give it a go!

You do have to take responsibility for your own job satisfaction.

Articles abound in various publications which indicate a rise in the numbers of people who are dissatisfied with their work or their career. Of course, many of these dissatisfied blues singers are going back to school to learn new careers, or jumping onto the self-employed, entrepreneurial bandwagon. Companies are becoming more aware of the need to provide satisfying employment and are willing to find ways to provide this... but sometimes you have to be the instigator and perseverance pays off.

Terri Levine
http://www.coachinstitute.com
http://www.terrilevine.com

Friday, October 21, 2005

Singing the "My job ain't goin' nowhere and I'm goin' with it..." blues

This comes back to your vision for your work. What do you want from your job? Do you WANT to climb a ladder with that company? Is your job something just to provide a pay packet? Do you have any aspirations? Are you prepared to re-train, even going back to night school, if necessary, to gain the appropriate qualifications to enable career advancement?

What are you prepared to do? Do you know what options exist for advancement? Have you discussed this with your Manager or with an appropriate H.R. member? Maybe you want to "advance" sideways into a different department?

Find out what your options are and if the company is prepared to assist you and train you to meet your goals. You won't know if you don't ask. By asking, you make them aware of your presence. When something which might be suitable for you comes up within the Company, you will then have the opportunity of trying out for it - but if you say nothing, and nobody knows of your aspirations, well, you'll just stay where you are, singing the burn out blues...

You don't have to settle for anything, but something better is not just going to be handed to you on a plate... that's like sitting near the phone just in case you get a call. You may never get a call and sitting there isn't going to make that phone ring by itself!

If you're that miserable, do something about it. Look for a new position in your company, or look for a new job. If you can afford it, hire a Career Coach! Alternatively, if your options really are limited, for whatever reason, get yourself a hobby. Create a terrific life outside of work. Life is too short to waste it being miserable!

Terri Levine
http://www.coachinstitute.com
http://www.terrilevine.com


Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Singing The "My Job Sucks and so do you..." Blues

If you or somebody you know at work hates their job and everyone they work with, realize that it is up to the individual to make a difference.

Make an effort to create respectful and friendly relationships with those you work with. Share smiles and be helpful. Share lunch. Creating meaningful relationships and enjoying the people you work with can sometimes make up for a less than satisfying job. Think about it... you go to an office every day to mingle with friends... what's not to like about that scenario?

In some organizations people don't care about creating meaningful work relationships, are unfriendly, and lack compassion. Some are outright arrogant and rude. The thing is, does this arrogance and rudeness give them job satisfaction and a zest for their work?

Why do you suppose they are such miserable blues singers? You don't have to join their ranks. If they are miserable, don't take it personally - that is their problem. Continue to be friendly to everyone. Even if you work with 100 miserable, unfriendly blues singers, the law of averages will ensure that at least one of them will recognize your shining light and want to be your friend. One friend is better than no friends at all. If you continue to be a bright and happy soul, your cheeriness will rub off eventually...

Keep the lines of communication open, smile, share kind and positive words, and give compliments, and even the grumpiest blues singer will look forward to your company!

Terri Levine
http://www.coachinstitute.com
http://www.terrilevine.com

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

DON'T BE RUDE WHEN YOU'RE ASKING FOR FAVORS!

I've been too nice lately... think it's time I got on my soap box and stirred things up a little. Are you listening to me?

I don't know about you, but seems to me people are becoming ruder and forgetting their manners in business. I think the internet may have a lot to do with it. In the "old days", before email, we wouldn't dream of "speaking" the way some people do today in their email correspondence.

Gone are the Dear... salutations, and some people don't even remember to say thank you! Whatever happened to "please"? Sentences have become clipped, tones sound almost hostile... when we write old-fashioned letters we don't write that way. What makes people think it is okay to do it in an email, I wonder...?

If you are after favors from somebody, remember your manners. If you want to get anywhere in life you do have to be courteous.

Recently, I have been approached asking if I'd offer a free bonus for somebody's upcoming book promotion. That's fine. I don't mind doing that. What I do mind is the asker telling me that it must be an expensive bonus valued at $X or more! Hang on... they're asking me to give them a freebie - and they're telling me how valuable it must be?

And if you think that's "interesting", you'll enjoy this... another promotion for yet another author, yes I gave a bonus and yes I even annoyed my newsletter list by sending it to them mid-week... obviously nobody was interested because nobody bought... the author emailed demanding to know when we'd sent it, what it looked like, how many were on our list and why didn't anybody buy it! This person was cross with us! Hello?

I don't know what to say! Just remember this - if you want something from me or anybody else - please, remember your manners!

Terri Levine
http://www.coachinstitute.com
http://www.terrilevine.com

Friday, October 14, 2005

What NOT to do at a Network Function...

When I say a Network Function, this can be a meeting of your local Chamber of Commerce, a Church meeting group, or any situation where you have an opportunity to meet people and drum up business. Of course, it also includes those events that are business oriented and you are expected to "network" professionally. Naturally, you want to give the very best impression of yourself and your business and you want to be prepared to succinctly and eloquently introduce yourself. You'll want to have your professional business cards handy to exchange. If you've read previous articles of mine about networking you already have a good idea of what you should do... so here's what you shouldn't do.

  1. Don't join a mother's knitting circle and expect to drum up business. If you are a hobbyist and a member of sporting/hobby type groups, keep these as your "hobby" fun-time activity. When you are in "business" networking mode, you should look for organizations whose members include potential clients or associates with whom you can do joint ventures or develop strategic alliances. The right group can make all the difference to your networking success, so don't just join any group for the sake of joining a group and think you are "networking".

  2. Don't just show up with your fingers crossed that it will be okay. Do your homework. What is this event about? Who will be attending? How many business cards will you need to take? How should you dress for this particular occasion? What can you find out about the other business people you will meet? What type of business are they in? How can you help them? Can you envision ways you could do joint ventures? What are some interesting questions you can ask them.

  3. Find out the group's protocols and what is and isn't permitted and expected. Some groups are fussy about how members behave and you don't want to put your foot in it by not knowing what you can and can't do or say. Knowing this beforehand will prevent you spouting off at the mouth about how wonderful your business is and be met with stony stares of disapproval. Maybe there is a time and place for these self-promotional discussions - you need to know!

  4. "Can I borrow your pen... and uh, have you got anything I can write on?" Hello! Does this sound professional to you? Go prepared! Make sure you have sufficient business cards, some brochures, and a pen that works! Oh, and don't take one of those cheap spiral bound notebooks in your top pocket! Use a professional portfolio. It doesn't HAVE to be pure leather, but it needs to look professional. You can also use an electronic organizer if you prefer.

  5. Picture this... you hand over your business card and the recipient absent-mindedly shoves it in their trouser pocket. How does this make you feel? I hope YOU don't do that sort of thing! Use a business card wallet so when you receive a card you can present yourself more professionally by placing it inside the wallet and NOT in your trouser or jacket pocket like some kind of candy wrapper! How you treat a person's business card will demonstrate not only YOUR professionalism but also display courtesy.

  6. Don't be an "in-person" spammer. You might be desperate for new clients but handing your card or brochure to every Tom, Dick or Harry is hardly the way to go about it! Not everyone will WANT your card and some will be offended by your attempts to push yourself on them. Offer your card sensibly!

  7. Don't make them yawn and look for an escape! Don't bore people with long, irrelevant stories and don't use humor until you know who you're talking to. No two people have the same sense of humor and what you might think is funny may be downright rude to another. And I don't care how long you've practiced your "elevator speech" - don't use it as your "introduction" each time you meet somebody at the event. Relax and be friendly first. Get to know them. Ask them about themselves. Establish a "relationship" and wait for the right time to deliver your "elevator speech" - a good time is when you are asked, "And what do you do?" or "What line of business are you in?"

  8. Sure, the person walking around serving the savories might look cute, and the door person might look bored, or you might feel sorry for the wallflower sitting behind the aspidistra trying not to be seen... that doesn'tt mean YOU have to go and keep them company! If you are there to network, make sure you meet and mingle with the right people. If you are new and don't know ANYBODY at the function, when the time is right you can go up to somebody you suspect is someone you should meet and break the ice with a simple, "Hello, my name is Joe. This is my first time here. Do they meet here often?" Or an opener of your choice.

  9. Don't make promises you can't or won't keep! Write down anything you need to remember later, like if you have promised a new acquaintance that you'd fax them some information. Always follow up and follow through with anything you have said you would do for someone. Make the most of your opportunities with new people you meet. If you find an interesting news clipping about something you believe would interest someone you've met, send it to them. They will appreciate your thoughtfulness and the fact that you remembered this detail about them and you'll have taken the first step in establishing what could be a rewarding relationship. Not everyone you meet may need your services, but everyone you meet can refer others to you!

  10. Well, I've been to that group once, don't have to bother with them anymore. Pardon me? Oh yes you do! Especially if you've met people with whom you can do business or who can refer business to you. How are you going to establish worthwhile relationships if you don't get to know them? Of course you will go again...unless of course you went to a mother's knitting circle, in which case, as I said earlier, you're not likely to drum up business there unless you sell knitting needles!

Terri Levine
http://www.coachinstitute.com
http://www.terrilevine.com

Thursday, October 13, 2005

Questions That Make You Squirm - What To Say

You're just starting out in your new business and somebody asks you "How long you been in business?" or "How many staff do you have?" You know - the types of questions that make you squirm. You don't want to lie, but how can you be honest without actually having to answer? Sometimes, it is not in your best interests to say, "Oh, I just started last week!" or "I don't have any staff - there's only me."

I cover this in my marketing program, and because it is a much asked question, I thought I'd share some tips on handling these awkward questions...

First, think of all the embarrassing questions you're likely to be asked and prepare your answers now. Make a list. That way, if and when you ever face one of these questions, you will be able to answer smoothly and honestly without skipping a beat. Whatever you do, never lie! Honesty really IS the best policy at all times!

"How long have you been in business?" Or variations of this question. If you just started last week, you don't have to be specific and answer "last week". Whatever business you are in, chances are you've had years of experience prior branching out on your own. So you'd answer something like, "Oh, I have been doing ...X... for about 5 years now and prior that I did ...X..." You haven't lied - okay, you haven't exactly answered the question but you HAVE told them how many years experience you have and that is REALLY what they want to know.

"How many people do you have working for you?" Or variations of this question. Another tricky one, and how you answer depends on what line of business you are in. You might be a small business consultancy, a Virtual Assistant, or a Mobile Hairdresser! Here is one example of how you can answer this question without actually answering it. "I'm able to keep my costs and overheads down by keeping it small and hiring out when I need to, which is how I'm able to keep my prices low for you. I have a team of experts I can call on for specific projects and can fit the right person to the right job all the time rather than just some of the time." Or you could say something like "I can reassure that I have enough people in order to provide 7 day a week service and meet all our deadlines."

If you're asked for specific contacts like your Accounts Department, for example, just say you are the project leader and if they have any problems they go through you to sort it out. There is nothing to stop you having a few different email addresses which all divert to your own personal address. So if your one-person business is called XYZ Consultants, set up an Accts@XYZ.com and Operations@XYZ.com. This gives the impression that you are larger. It also helps you keep your emails in order for the various facets of your business.

"Do you work for many other companies?" Or similar questions about your number of clients. They're fishing for your experience here. Again, if you have worked in your line of business before, you are not lying by using those experiences. Mention you have established confidentiality agreements with your clients and are unable to give details, suffice to say that you have experience in this line of work and can assure them of professional experienced service at all times.

Terri Levine
http://www.coachinstitute.com
http://www.terrilevine.com

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

AVOID THESE "BEGINNER'S MISTAKES"

Thinking about setting up a small business - a one man show - you might be going to sell widgets via the internet, become a coach or a VA - working from home... whatever you are planning, make sure you don't make these common mistakes:

  • Don't put all your eggs into one basket. Having a brilliant idea is great, but don't think you only need the one idea to be successful. Even if your customers get tired of your one product or service, soon you will, too. Play with lots of ideas, have some fun finding out which ones create success!

  • If you are something of an entrepreneur, you are different to the rest of society's sheep. Embrace your differences - don't try to be like everybody else. It is your very "difference" that makes you the type of person who CAN be successful. Be you and have fun!

  • Don't pay too much attention to your own publicity. It's one thing to be optimistic and share your greatness with others - in fact, for marketing purposes, you do need to "sell yourself"... but don't get sucked-in by your own publicity! Keep your feet on the ground! Don't confuse what "might happen" with reality.

  • Watch your money! Don't sink everything into having the most modern, most expensive office in the world. You really do need to keep something aside for a rainy day, because if you are in any kind of business, trust me, you WILL have rainy days and you will be grateful for your savings account!

  • In case you haven't heard, "selling" is OUT. If you're trying too hard to sell your product, pull back and find out WHY they're not buying. You may be trying to sell something nobody wants, or maybe it needs a little tweaking before it's ready.

  • No person is an island. Recognize when it is time to get help - the greatest business successes in the world had the common sense to have a great support team, so what makes you think you can do it all on your own?

  • Learn to Delegate smartly. Use your support team, your staff to do the things you don't have time to do. This will allow you time to work ON your business and not just in it. By the same token, don't go overboard. Don't get into the habit of "dumping" your workload onto others. Remember, it is YOUR business and your responsibility.

  • Never Give Up. I don't know of any "famous" business people who had success handed to them on a plate - many faced bankruptcies and extreme difficulties before success was theirs. Realize you may fail along the way but how you respond will determine whether or not one day you taste the sweetness of success or not. Learn from your mistakes, and carry on... by the same token, don't go flogging a dead horse or continue if you are miserable. Misery is a sign that something isn't quite right...

Terri Levine
http://www.coachinstitute.com
http://www.terrilevine.com

Friday, October 07, 2005

FULFILLMENT AT WORK

This might be a silly question - but it's pretty relevant today. Are you fulfilled in your life? How about in your work? Many clients we work with tell us they have a wonderful lifestyle but as we start to dig deeper, we see that they are missing a great life. What is the difference?

Simple. A lifestyle is the external things which you gather, but a life is something fulfilling and sustaining. Let's look at some of the ways to be more fulfilled.

  1. Stop focusing on earning more and buying more. Stop funding a lifestyle and start creating a better life for you and those around you.
  2. Stop looking for more gratification and start being very grateful for all you do have.
  3. Stop measuring your success in money and start measuring emotional costs. If you work day and night to keep up with your lifestyle, you are giving up your life. Start enjoying your life and making it simple.
  4. Ask yourself if you are working for a living or doing the work you love for life? (I do what I love and love what I do...shouldn't you?)
  5. Focus on your energy, feeling joy, love and having the time to enjoy the special people in your life - this is how to be fulfilled.
  6. If your work drains you or doesn't fulfill your intellectual, social and emotional needs, make a change.
Can't seem to make a change and blaming everyone else? Stop whining... don't be a wimp... take back the power of your life... go for fulfillment... and get back in control!

Don't know how or where to begin? That's why Coaches were invented! You can hire me - or you can hire one of our Coaches - check them out here: http://www.coachinstitute.com/findacoach.htm

Terri Levine
http://www.coachinstitute.com
http://www.terrilevine.com

Thursday, October 06, 2005

THE MOST COMMON TOLERATIONS AT WORK

What is this thing we commonly refer to in the coaching world called "tolerations"? Simply put, it is anything or anyone that you are putting up with that isn't to your liking. We often begin a coaching session with our clients by helping them recognize and eliminate tolerations - stop putting up with them and begin preventing them. This gives our clients the chance to enjoy people, places and things more and to stop their energy from being drained by tolerations.

We thought you might be interested in the top tolerations our clients have shared with us in their work environment:

  1. Career Path
  2. Compensation
  3. Co-Workers
  4. Boss
  5. Job
  6. Daily Routine
  7. Commute
  8. Office Space
  9. Role
  10. Intellectual Challenge
  11. Paperwork
  12. Computer/Telephone Systems
  13. Office Set-up
  14. Office Efficiency
  15. Office Comfort

What are you tolerating? List your tolerations at home, at work, in your relationships and in your environment.

If you don't know how to handle your list of tolerations, consider hiring a coach...you can hire one of ours! Go to: http://www.coachinstitute.com/findacoach.htm and check them out!

Terri Levine
http://www.coachinstitute.com
http://www.terrilevine.com

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

CHATTERBOXES - HOW TO DEAL WITH THEM

You might be able to identify with this. You're busy or running late and somebody phones. The Chatterbox! These are people who never stop talking. You can put the handset down and go off and make yourself a cup of tea, bake some scones, and return after you've had a shower and washed your hair as well and they're STILL talking and didn't even notice you'd gone!

Or your chatterbox might be a client who rambles on, gets sidetracked and seems to be more interested in chatting like old friends than achieving anything worthwhile in their session.

Subtle hints fall on deaf ears. Not-so-subtle hints are misunderstood or ignored. You're exasperated... How DO you get rid of these people, or get them back on track, if clients, tactfully?! I've thought about this a great deal and tried several successful strategies which have worked for me, and you might like to try them next time you're caught.

To begin with, once you answer the phone and identify the caller as a known chatterbox, before you even so much as say "hi", you MUST make it clear they've caught you at an inopportune moment and you can only spare a few seconds. You must get in first for this to be effective - otherwise they won't hear you! On the other hand, if it is a client calling for an appointed session, this reply won't be appropriate, but if you guide the call right from the start then you can control the amount of time wasted on trivialities.

If it is a client who "forgets" they only have x number of minutes for their call, you MUST remind them if they go off topic, and politely bring them back to the topic you were discussing. By asking them the right questions, you will soon get them back on track, talking about what they're supposed to be talking about, and not their Great Aunt Millie's carbuncles!

If your caller is easily sidetracked or interrupts with trivialities which have no bearing on their session, or rambles on over old ground you've already covered, ask them if it is relevant. It isn't rude to question relevancy or to remind people how much time is left for their call so they can make the most of their minutes with you. If the clock is ticking, as it will be on a coaching session, you have every right to ask your client to get to the point. Ask nicely and you won't offend them. After all, it's their money!

When subtlety and polite directness fail to produce the desired results, you are left with just one option. Be blunt. This doesn't mean be offensive - it just means you tell it like it is a little more strongly. You tell them that under any other circumstances, you'd love a good chinwag with them, they're very interesting and fun to talk with, but with so much ground to cover in so little time, it's best they don't waste their money and time on side issues that are irrelevant. That's not what they hire you for, etc. etc. etc. If you let them prattle on every session, wasting time and achieving nothing, what kind of coaching is that? Remind them that it's a very expensive phone call just for a chat if that's how they plan to spend their time with you!

Terri Levine
http://www.coachinstitute.com
http://www.terrilevine.com

Friday, September 30, 2005

Career Options Begin With Career Planning

There are many factors that should be taken into account when considering a possible career change. Most people focus on only a few of these and this often leads to future job dissatisfaction.

Here is a top ten of what is important in career planning:

  1. Clearly state your top 5 interests

  2. List 10 of your tops skills and abilities - ask friends, co-workers, family, etc. for the skills they believe you have that you might not even recognize

  3. Note your top 5 most important personal characteristics

  4. Clarify your top 5 values

  5. Know what environmental conditions you may want to avoid

  6. Decide what level of continued education/training you are willing to complete

  7. Know the amount of money you MUST earn annually (not what you would "like" to earn)

  8. Determine what is the most demanding category of physical labor that you are willing to accept

  9. Decide which hours and travel you need to avoid

  10. Know if you want to work indoors/outdoors or a combination of the two

It's common sense, yes, but you'd be surprised the number of people who get excited over careers that are unsuitable for them. For example, yes, being a commercial pilot is an exciting career for those who love to travel, and of course, love to fly planes! Not really suitable, however, for somebody who is scared of heights or confined spaces or who, when it comes to the crunch, doesn't really like to leave home!

Terri Levine
http://www.coachinstitute.com
http://www.terrilevine.com

Thursday, September 29, 2005

PUTTING IDEAS INTO ACTION

Why aren't more employees' ideas implemented? In a corporate setting, new ideas automatically are met with resistance; there are always those who have a vested interest in maintaining the status quo.

But creative ideas from workers can benefit a business, primarily because workers have first-hand experience on office procedures. Getting good ideas implemented, however, requires effective presentation skills. Here are points to keep in mind when you're proposing new ideas:

  1. Make sure you focus on the issue involved. Don't attack something you're trying to change or improve.
  2. Consider the timing of your idea. You can't successfully pitch a solution to a problem when no one else thinks it's a problem. Your idea stands a greater chance of gaining interest and acceptance when a problem becomes apparent - and people are hungry for a solution.
  3. Present your idea face-to-face to the key players, instead of writing a memo or letter. In a face-to-face situation, you enhance your credibility; you are more closely identified with your idea. A memo is too easy to file away. You'll often get a response like, "We're looking into it."
  4. Don't be obnoxious about getting your idea across. Instead, be gently persistent. An employee successfully steered an idea to fruition by first meeting with requisite employees and supervisors. The employee pitched the idea and allowed supervisors to give their feedback. Then the feedback was integrated into the idea. Trying to get an idea accepted a little bit at a time can be advantageous. When employees try to get it all, they often receive nothing.
  5. Don't kill your ideas altogether. As you go through the creative process of finding solutions to problems, don't talk yourself out of new ideas by saying:

    • "The boss won't like it."
    • "I don't have the authority."
    • "We've never done that before."
Just remember, there is always a first time for everything... and if your idea really is good, it's time will come!

Terri Levine
http://www.coachinstitute.com
http://www.terrilevine.com

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

STAND OUT AND GET NOTICED

Fact: You won't get noticed unless you stand out. Therefore, you won't get promoted unless you can rise above the pack. Here are some ways to get that coveted interview with the boss, and to get noticed:

  • Help solve important problems. Consider doing extra work or research on your own time.

  • Get published. It could be in a trade or professional association publication, or in your organization's newsletter. Write a piece that will put your organization in a good light, or show your knowledge of your field.
  • Develop your speech skills.
  • Network with doers. Reach out to those beyond your own team or department. Do favors for team members and co-workers, but keep your own work top priority.
  • Update your resume. Ask someone influential about where to send it in-house. Let a few select people see that you're serious about career advancement.

  • Do good work. And make sure it gets noticed.

There's no sense being overly modest or letting others take all the glory for YOUR efforts. Stand up and be counted!

Terri Levine
http://www.coachinstitute.com
http://www.terrilevine.com

Friday, September 23, 2005

REASON TO LOVE YOUR CROWS FEET!

Before you rush off to the local plastic surgeon, consider this:

A Psychologist report says that people judge the genuineness of others by looking for their laughter lines. Experiments showed that the eyes, not the mouth, were the main focus of attention in a smiling face.

Tests focused on the "crow's feet" laughter lines that appear at the corner of the eyes when a person smiles. An experiment, in which 60 volunteers were shown pictures of smiling faces, showed most spent up to twice as long gazing at the "laugh lines" than anywhere else, including the mouth. (The direction of their eyes was detected by shining an infra-red beam and measuring the angle of reflection 10 times a second.)

The researchers suggested this could be an instinctive way of assessing whether or not a smile was genuine. Plastic surgery to remove those lines takes away more than just your wrinkles! If your work requires sincere smiling (acting, sales, etc.), removal of those lines will make it hard for others to believe your sincerity because you'll have a "plastic smile".

Plastic surgery is little more than a band-aid for a fragile ego. It's like wearing a mask over your face. People might say, "Hey, great look!" But you know it's the mask they are complimenting... not you. You're still not going to feel good about yourself because YOU know it's not you... it's the mask!

Genuineness is always respected... plastic is disposable, so keep those smiles REAL and respect yourself!

Until next week...

Terri Levine
http://www.coachinstitute.com
http://www.terrilevine.com

Thursday, September 22, 2005

THINK THE GRASS IS GREENER ON THE OTHER SIDE?

BEFORE you jump the gun and make any impulsive decisions, have a good think about it first. Whether you are wanting to live somewhere different, get a different job, a different boss, a different partner or a different whatever because you believe it would be better than what you have now, THINK before you leap!

Are you familiar with the Aesop fable, The Ass and the Tanner? In a nutshell, an ass, belonging to a herb-seller, who fed him too little and overworked him, petitioned Jupiter to find him a new master. Jupiter warned him that he would repent his request, but found him a new master - a tile-maker. Soon, the ass was carrying even heavier loads and doing harder work, and so again, he petitioned for another change of master. Jupiter told him this would be the last time that he could do this, and arranged for his sale to a tanner. Of course, the Ass discovered he had fallen into even worse hands. He groaned and said, "it would have been better for me to have been either starved by the one, or to have been overworked by the other of my former masters, than to have been bought by my present owner, who will even after I am dead tan my hide, and make me useful to him."

And the moral of the story is: He that finds discontentment in one place is not likely to find happiness in another.

If you are sooo miserable where you are now, consider hiring a Life Coach. You may not need to make the same mistakes as the donkey when the "fix" might be easily within your reach right where you are now!

Terri Levine
http://www.coachinstitute.com
http://www.terrilevine.com

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

WANT TO LEAD A CHARMED LIFE? BE CHARMING!

We've all met charming people - they're likable, popular, and if they said, "follow me to the ends of the earth", in a hypnotic trance, we just might do that.

We'd all like to think we are charming and sometimes we are, but true charm doesn't turn on and off like a tap. It's inherent in everything we do, in all our dealings with all people.

Fakes always get caught out. So we want to practice being charming at all times - whatever we are doing, with whomever we are doing it. When we earn the reputation of being "charming", people we deal with are more obliging, friendlier, and life becomes so much easier in so many ways. So, to live a "charmed life", we want to incorporate some charming mannerisms.

Being charming is having the ability to make people feel at ease around you and enjoy being around you and dealing with you, in business, your private life, or your career.

Face to face charm...You can practice your charm when you walk down the street... don't quickly look away when a stranger meets your gaze. Look back into their eyes and smile. Charming people acknowledge others, even if just with a smile.

Be friendly. You can practice this anywhere you meet people - strangers in the street, the movie usher, the checkout person at your local shop. Look them in the eye and smile. Use a friendly tone. Say, "How are you?" You will stand out in their memory as a friendly, charming person.

Friendly, small talk. Don't give us that "I’m too busy for small talk" business! If you have time to stand in a queue, in an elevator, or anywhere for that matter, near another living being, you have time to be "nice". People like to know others care about them. "How are you?" "How's your day?" "That's a nice jacket you're wearing." You don't have to dazzle with Einstein brilliance - just acknowledge another human being in a way that says, "Hello, I recognize and acknowledge you for the special human being that you are."

Be complimentary. Don't overdo it - you don't want to be smarmy or appear insincere! Not only do people love to be noticed, but also they love to be seen in a good light. Many times, we do notice nice things about other people - new hairdo, shoes, clothing, lipstick, or whatever, but we just don't say it out aloud. Try voicing your complimentary opinions next time.

Try this with your waiter and see if you notice an upgrade in service... "Hi, you look busy tonight. Are they running you off your feet?" You have just been friendly, acknowledged another human being and the fact that they are busy. You have, in a way, shown that you care about the waiter. He or she will give you great service, and the person who merely barked in snobbish tones, "Bring me a tonic water" will get that but little else.

We can practice our charm over the phone and in our emails. We do this by smiling and being friendly and polite. We watch our choice of words. We always want the other person to feel special and appreciated and acknowledged. It doesn't matter if the other person is higher up the ladder or not. A charming person does not differentiate between those perceived to be above or below or equal to him/her.

So, if you want to live a charmed life... be charming!

Terri Levine
http://www.coachinstitute.com
http://www.terrilevine.com

Friday, September 16, 2005

GIVE UP PROMISES

Many of us find ourselves making promises in our business efforts, sales efforts and even in our personal relationships, that we just can't live up to.

When we make a promise, we make a commitment, we give our word and people expect a result. I have often told sales people, business managers or owners, and even couples, to "under promise and over deliver". I have had the belief that if you promised less than you knew you could deliver and then went beyond expectations, people would be pleased.

Now here's what I suggest for you: give up promises!

This may sound very idealistic to you on first glimpse. However, I have found that when I avoid making promises to others I don't have so much stress in my life in living up to expectations. I still work hard at giving my very best and going above and beyond my best - I just don't state the promises out loud. This has given me a new freedom and allowed me the opportunity to give without worry.

It may sound scary to you, (it did to me at first, too!), but I encourage you to try it. See how you feel when you make no promises at all!

Of course, I'm NOT promising you'll feel better... (smile).

Terri Levine
http://www.coachinstitute.com
http://www.terrilevine.com/

Thursday, September 15, 2005

Are YOU a "Judge"???

Judging people is a bit like judging trees and just as constructive. There are many types of trees, but because one is older, or taller, or has more branches than another does not make that tree right, or better than the tree next to it. There are many types of trees, but the truth is, they are still just trees.

Professional Coaches are trained to hold a neutral position. After all, who are we to judge? For example, as a Coach, I may find myself a client who earns his living as a professional gambler, but what he does for a living is separate from who he is as a fellow human being. I tell him I stand for him as a human being, as a person. I stand for his rights and who he is as an individual and not for what the goals are that he accomplishes or doesn’t accomplish. He could change his career tomorrow, but he will still be a human being, like me, and that is the person I am coaching... not the gambler. However, letting go of reacting to what others say or do or who they are is challenging, admittedly, and requires a great deal of practice.

But you mustn't confuse making observations with making judgments. Making observations is something else we all do. We're always making observations too, like observing what somebody is wearing, what mood somebody is in, etc. Making powerful and useful observations is another Coaching technique. But powerful observations must always be truthful, and again, as a Coach, a powerful observation is my way of saying this is what I think at this point in time from the facts available to me at this point in time, but I do not make or express judgment and I am not coming from a position of who is right or who is wrong, I am simply expressing my perception of something as it appears. There is no right, there is no wrong, there is no judgment. I make my observations the same way that I might observe, "oh, it's a sunny day today."

Next time you hold a judgment about a person's appearance or something they are saying, practice this:

  1. Remind yourself not to think about what they say with any judgment. Just "hear" what they're saying and don't form any judgment in your head about it.

  2. Focus on the person you are listening to and not your feelings or what you want to say in reply.

  3. Set aside your personal feelings, beliefs, or agendas. Don't take what they are saying personally - unless of course, it IS personal.

  4. Listen to everything as if it was a plain and simple fact and nothing more.

  5. Whenever you feel yourself getting emotionally charged or reactive, remind yourself to be quiet and just listen.
With continued practice, you will find that as you put judgment aside, you will gain the benefits of making greater connections with people, you will experience less stress and discomfort, and you will spend less time and energy with negative thoughts and more just being and letting others be.

Be Happy!

Terri Levine
http://www.coachinstitute.com
http://www.terrilevine.com