It's a rare child who can ignore the bright lights and decorations and Santa Clauses and all the fuss that is "Christmas". However, as Hanukkah and Christmas are so close together on the calendar, it can present some challenges, especially for very young children who are easily confused.
Here are a few tips:
- Talk to your children and make sure they understand the true meaning of Hanukkah, how it relates to them, and its special significance for them.
- Find ways to make Hanukkah special and significant for them. Make the most of the Hanukkah traditions, keep them alive and encourage your child's active participation.
- Explain "why" Christmas is special to Christians and explain the differences between Christmas and Hanukkah. If you try to place a "ban" on all things festive related, you will only create a desire for the forbidden. (The Xmas tree and all the decorations actually pre-date Christianity and have nothing to do with the Christian "Christmas" celebration itself.)
- Invite a couple of your children's non-Jewish friends to celebrate Hanukkah with you and allow your child to accept an invitation to a Christian friend's Christmas celebrations. Maybe some of your non Jewish friends will allow your younger children to help decorate their Xmas tree. (Where's the harm in that? It's just making a tree pretty, after all!) This is also a great way to establish religious tolerance and understanding. Let them learn that all religions have significant celebrations and that they are all meaningful and can all be fun.
- Some families manage to ignore the fuss of Christmas entirely, and some have decided to participate in certain aspects of the holiday season - such as exchanging gifts, putting up some tinsel or special festive lights, hanging stockings for "Santa" and some even put up Xmas trees! That's okay. Why shouldn't we all be allowed to participate and join in the celebrations? It doesn't detract from who you are or what you believe. It can all be part of understanding each other's culture and traditions. Why not share some of YOUR special celebrations with your non Jewish friends? In fact, if you have a group of friends with different religious backgrounds, why not start something where you ALL celebrate each other's special days of significance in some way. Your child will look forward to "their turn" to show their friends what is special about "their" significant days!
Remember, the Xmas tree and all the lights and tinsel we now associate with the Christian celebration of Christmas, have, in fact, nothing to do with Christmas and these traditions pre-date Christianity. With this in mind, there is little harm in enjoying the colorful aspects of the festive season with your children, provided you take the time to explain it all to them!
Happy holidays!
Terri Levine
http://www.comprehensivecoachingu.com
http://www.terrilevine.com
http://www.coachinstitute.com
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