Saturday, December 31, 2005

Looking to the New Year

I trust you enjoyed your Holidays and are looking forward to a very prosperous 2006!

I am currently enjoying taking some time off and relaxing. You may (or may not) have noticed that I didn't get to my usual postings this week. For those of you not on vacation reading this I want to wish you a very Happy New Year.

Be sure to keep your eyes peeled for my postings next week! They'll be worth the wait!

Have a safe and happy New Year!

Terri Levine
http://www.comprehensivecoachingu.com
http://www.terrilevine.com
http://www.coachinstitute.com

Friday, December 23, 2005

Help Your Children Celebrate Hanukkah... despite the Tinsel!

It's a rare child who can ignore the bright lights and decorations and Santa Clauses and all the fuss that is "Christmas". However, as Hanukkah and Christmas are so close together on the calendar, it can present some challenges, especially for very young children who are easily confused.

Here are a few tips:

  1. Talk to your children and make sure they understand the true meaning of Hanukkah, how it relates to them, and its special significance for them.

  2. Find ways to make Hanukkah special and significant for them. Make the most of the Hanukkah traditions, keep them alive and encourage your child's active participation.

  3. Explain "why" Christmas is special to Christians and explain the differences between Christmas and Hanukkah. If you try to place a "ban" on all things festive related, you will only create a desire for the forbidden. (The Xmas tree and all the decorations actually pre-date Christianity and have nothing to do with the Christian "Christmas" celebration itself.)

  4. Invite a couple of your children's non-Jewish friends to celebrate Hanukkah with you and allow your child to accept an invitation to a Christian friend's Christmas celebrations. Maybe some of your non Jewish friends will allow your younger children to help decorate their Xmas tree. (Where's the harm in that? It's just making a tree pretty, after all!) This is also a great way to establish religious tolerance and understanding. Let them learn that all religions have significant celebrations and that they are all meaningful and can all be fun.

  5. Some families manage to ignore the fuss of Christmas entirely, and some have decided to participate in certain aspects of the holiday season - such as exchanging gifts, putting up some tinsel or special festive lights, hanging stockings for "Santa" and some even put up Xmas trees! That's okay. Why shouldn't we all be allowed to participate and join in the celebrations? It doesn't detract from who you are or what you believe. It can all be part of understanding each other's culture and traditions. Why not share some of YOUR special celebrations with your non Jewish friends? In fact, if you have a group of friends with different religious backgrounds, why not start something where you ALL celebrate each other's special days of significance in some way. Your child will look forward to "their turn" to show their friends what is special about "their" significant days!

Remember, the Xmas tree and all the lights and tinsel we now associate with the Christian celebration of Christmas, have, in fact, nothing to do with Christmas and these traditions pre-date Christianity. With this in mind, there is little harm in enjoying the colorful aspects of the festive season with your children, provided you take the time to explain it all to them!

Happy holidays!

Terri Levine
http://www.comprehensivecoachingu.com
http://www.terrilevine.com
http://www.coachinstitute.com

Thursday, December 22, 2005

It's Get On The Soapbox Time Again!

Regardless of your religion and whether or not you celebrate the time of year known as Christmas, just about everywhere you read you will find articles shouting how stressful this time of year is. It's "emotionally, physically and psychologically draining".

Oh puh-leeze! Aren't you just a little bit tired of this?

And who decided that the time of year when there is peace and goodwill among men (or supposed to be) will be an emotionally, physically and psychologically draining time? You did! You decide how you are going to feel at any given time. You can't blame December for your choices!

It's all in your mind! Don't blow things out of proportion. Instead of seeing this time of year as a test of endurance or who can put on the fanciest spread and buy the most expensive gifts or whatever, see it as a time to enjoy special food and the company of friends and family that you might only see once a year.

Your house doesn't have to be spotless. Whatever you cook doesn't have to make the Chef at the Ritz proud. Explain to your visitors that they are visiting a real family living in a real home with all that entails. If they'd prefer spotless perfection, there are any number of grand hotels available for them to visit. Just tell them that this year you are doing things differently... because this year, you plan on enjoying yourself, too!

Don't insist warring factions within the family suddenly and miraculously make-up and be friends. Keep them apart - sit them at opposite ends of the table. Ask your guests to help you serve the meals and clean up afterwards. You are NOT a hotel, remember?

Yes, you can be stressed by all the fuss made at this time of year, but as with any emotion, it is your choice. You can allow yourself to feel stressed by it all, or you can step back and decide to think about it in a different way this year.

Stop demanding perfection. Stop expecting and wanting things to be "just so". Lighten up and for once, you might just enjoy the festive season, and if you can't, then simply, don't do it! Go away next year. Stay in a hotel. Do whatever it takes for you to feel relaxed... just don't go on and on complaining about how this time of the year stresses you. This time of the year doesn't do anything... YOU stress yourself!

Terri Levine
http://www.comprehensivecoachingu.com
http://www.terrilevine.com
http://www.coachinstitute.com

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

How to Survive the Office Xmas Party with your Dignity Intact

Well, I can really answer this in one sentence: Don't do anything stupid! But that doesn't make for much of a blog, so let's elucidate a little...

  • Know the "rules". Are you allowed to bring your partner or is it strictly staff only?

  • Do you need to RSVP? Do so if you are required to.

  • Dress accordingly - the venue will determine what you should wear but if you are not sure, ask.

  • Don't assume anything - some companies can afford to provide an open bar for their staff parties and some cannot. Make sure you bring sufficient funds with you to cover your own drinks AND the cab fare home!

  • I know somebody has to be the first to arrive at the party, but that doesn't have to be you! It's not good to be the last to arrive either - if the office party involves a formal sit down dinner, your late arrival will be rude. If the start time is 7.00 pm, try arriving between 7.15 pm and 7.30 pm. Don't make other arrangements for the same evening - it will not look good if you have to leave early to attend another engagement!

  • Be sober when you arrive! Don't go getting drunk, bar hopping on the way to the venue!

  • Likewise, don't head straight for the bar when you arrive. Mix first and say hello. If you have brought somebody with you, make sure you introduce them to everyone.

  • This is one of those occasions when it is a good thing to be friendly with your Boss' wife. When I say friendly, I don't mean flirty - I mean make conversation; be polite. In fact, be friendly and make conversation with all the invited spouses - make them feel welcome. Some will be feeling uncomfortable, perhaps among strangers.

  • Don't talk shop. Discuss sports, the weather, ask about families, children, plans for the holidays or whatever.

  • Don't flirt! Now is not the time to make your moves on the secretary or any other co-worker you've had your eye on the past months!

  • Watch your language! If you watch your drinking, drink slow and sensibly, you are less at risk of making a fool of yourself or losing control over your language. This means be careful about the types of jokes you tell also!

  • When it's time to eat, avoid sloppy foods - unless you are an adept with the cutlery. You will not make a good impression on the CEO if you have food stains on your tie! And do remember your manners at the dinner table. If you are unsure, wait until others start eating and follow their example. Don't talk with your mouth full. Chew your food slowly. Don't burp!

  • Of course, you have to enjoy yourself too. If there is dancing, join in. If there are "games", join in.

Don't forget, important people in your company will be watching you - and how you conduct yourself at events such as these can make or break your career!

Terri Levine
http://www.comprehensivecoachingu.com
http://www.terrilevine.com
http://www.coachinstitute.com

Friday, December 16, 2005

Guide To Proper Introductions

Every now and then I like to get on my soapbox about manners... manners are going the way of the dinosaur! In the past, parents taught their kids manners... then we learned a different kind of courtesy when we started out in our careers - manners for business situations. These days, seems people are too busy to include "manners" in their training! We're growing into a rude society of ignorant, me-me-me, so and so's who don't deserve ANYBODY's business! (Yes, thank you, that does feel better!)

Today, my "soapbox" special is about introductions...

Have you ever had to introduce people to one another and found yourself a bit tongue-tied?

Here are a few situations where people often get stuck: who gets introduced first, forgetting names, and when to introduce yourself.

Business etiquette always prevails but most people never receive formal instruction in this. So, here are the "rules" that seems most of us have never been taught.

  1. Always introduce the older person to the younger person:
    "John Smith, I would like to introduce you to Bill Evans."

  2. Use proper language: "Janice Jones, I'd like you to meet
    Sue Robins."

  3. If you are not introduced to someone, wait a few seconds
    and then say: "Hi. I'm Harry Higgins." And yes, you can offer
    your hand to shake.

  4. When you forget a name: "Why don't you introduce yourselves
    to each other since I am so bad with names?" (Said with a
    twinkle in your eye!)

Recently, someone told me about a network function they attended and a person they had met once before was there and they really wanted his business! So up he goes and just before he puts out his hand, he realizes he can't remember the other guy's name! So thinking quickly, he whips out his diary and says, "I don't think you had any business cards left last time we met and I just wrote your name in my diary... I just want to check the spelling because you know how tricky names can be!" The other guy smiled and spelled out obligingly: "T E D S M I T H".

So, on meeting, it is a good idea to ask the other person if they have a business card!

Until next week...

Terri Levine
http://www.comprehensivecoachingu.com
http://www.terrilevine.com
http://www.coachinstitute.com

Thursday, December 15, 2005

How Are Your Verbals?

Whether you are a Speaker or a "thinking about it" speaker, you need to think about this...

When you speak, do you inspire, persuade, and enthuse, or do you send people to sleep? When you look out over your audience, are they captivated by you and you have their full attention? Or when you look out over the room is one group discussing something secret with their heads together, someone else sneaking out of the room with some other sneaky friends, and people starting to do their own thing? Maybe some really are snoring! You get the idea.

If you fall into the latter category, fear not my dull friend...

Good verbal skills can be easily acquired, and to get you started, here are a few tips:

  • Speak energetically, with enthusiasm - vary your pitch - don't just speak in a monotone - sound excited.
  • Speak with feeling. Speak with sincerity - of course, in speaking thus, you must always mean what you say!
  • Don't "preach" - give examples. People understand more by example. Get your point across via a story.
  • Speak clearly, slowly, and in simple terms that everyone can understand - don't try to impress by using big words or jargon!
  • Speak animatedly - make twinkling eye contact - move your hands a little (but don't conduct an orchestra!)

That should do for starters... oh, forgot something really important - pick an interesting subject! (Creative Uses for Toenail Clippings just may not do it for everybody, get what I mean?)

Until next time...

Terri Levine
http://www.comprehensivecoachingu.com
http://www.terrilevine.com
http://www.coachinstitute.com

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

10 Ways to Lose Customers

If you are in a 'live' business as opposed to a 'virtual' online business and you actually deal firsthand with your customers, if you want to make the most of the buying frenzy this and any other special season, make sure your staff don't makes these mistakes!

There are many things which drive all of us, in our capacity of "customers" absolutely crazy. Things which can turn us off buying from certain shops and businesses. Some of the most irritating things which drive us crazy include:

  1. Queuing up in a long line at a cash register because despite the crowd, the other registers are closed!

  2. Waiting to be served while the salesclerks stand behind the counter chatting about what they did on the weekend or take private calls!

  3. Rearranging our busy schedules so we can stay home all day waiting for a tradesman who never turns up or comes hours later, and never bothers to ring to tell you!

  4. Being given wrong information from salesclerks who don't know what they're talking about!

  5. Being served in person or on the phone by a lazy salesperson who can't be bothered finding out for you and will either lie to you or just say 'its not my department' and leave it hanging there!

  6. Misleading advertising!

  7. Being quoted a price by a salesclerk, only to discover later that the real price is higher!

  8. Sales items are not in stock. What? Did they only have one to sell at sales price?

  9. Rude salesclerks. Sales and store people who patronize you with their attitude.

  10. Hanging around a store waiting for service - you can see clerks available but they don't want to do any work! Or worse, being tailed like a potential shoplifter!

Of course, your staff are likely to be on their best behavior if you stand around them... why not have an unknown friend or relative come into your store and put your staff to the test!

Till next time...

Terri Levine
http://www.comprehensivecoachingu.com
http://www.terrilevine.com
http://www.coachinstitute.com

Friday, December 09, 2005

3 Steps to Prosperity - Step 3

The last part of the prosperity coaching process is to give money away.

I don't care if you are in a place of lacking for money right now, give something away. Pay for another car going through a toll booth, or give a friend something. As you give money away, you open up the channels of yourself receiving money. You show that you are believing (maybe not fully, yet) that there is abundance and that you trust that more will come back to you. This puts you in alignment with prosperity.

I have seen this in action. It is a universal law and it works. Until you feel confident and discover for yourself that this does work, start off with small donations. Give away your small change to all the small charity boxes in stores. Help out the old lady at the checkout ahead of you who is $5 short to pay her shopping bill. Give generously in your Church when the plate is passed around.

What goes around, comes around! If you hoard your money, you halt the process and effectively block any more coming to you... you have to keep the flow going...

Look at all of the wealthiest people in the world today - major business leaders and entrepreneurs, even famous singers and movie stars - these people spend hundreds of thousands on donations and doing things for those less fortunate than themselves. And yet, they never seem to run out of money, even though they're giving it all away! They know that somehow, it will come back to them plus more via some wonderful new opportunity or "amazing strike of good luck"!

I tell my clients, "you are allowed to have it all!". There is nothing that stops you from having financial independence but you - I know that's hard to hear. We'd rather blame someone or something else, right? It is time for you to declare YOUR financial freedom and create the money you deserve!

You've got the 3 basic steps, so what's stopping you?

Terri Levine
http://www.comprehensivecoachingu.com
http://www.terrilevine.com
http://www.coachinstitute.com

Thursday, December 08, 2005

3 Steps to Prosperity - Step 2

I've never believed whoever created me said "you should suffer" or "you should starve"...

I believe my creator said, "We have this energy exchange; it is called money. There is an abundance of it. Go give it, go get it, go enjoy it, and feel free to want to give and get lots of it."

No wonder I've never experienced a financial lack. My inner beliefs aren't in alignment with financial lack. I have financial independence because my inner story creates the outer match to money. And that is what I was talking about in Step 1.

Now for Step 2...

I start my clients off by having them write a money story. I ask them to go decade by decade writing their own beliefs or stories about money, without judging them, just noticing them. People surface up all kinds of things from "money is the root of all evil" to "get enough money to burn". It is interesting to see what your own beliefs are. I highly recommend, to let in prosperity and financial independence, you begin to notice what you have heard or believed.

Separate the wheat from the chaff here... discard the beliefs you've inherited from well meaning parents or teachers. If you've been told that you'll never be rich simply because you come from a poor family yourself... well, that's one belief to toss away right now!

Then create a desire list. Come up with all the things you want that money can bring, like: ability to give to a certain foundation; a health care treatment; a new home, etc. Money doesn't come if we have a low desire for it and aren't feeling good about attracting it. When we get into a place of feeling high desire and feeling great about what we want to have that comes with money, then we are opening up to money coming in.

This is no time for feeling guilty. Everyone can put themselves in a place of abundance - the only thing holding them back is their limiting beliefs - their self sabotage. And you are not personally responsible for the way the entire world's population thinks, right? If you want to improve the world, you can only start with yourself. I think abundance is a great form of self-improvement - sure beats poverty, right?!

Terri Levine
http://www.terrilevine.com
http://www.comprehensivecoachingu.com
http://www.coachinstitute.com

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

3 Steps to Prosperity - Step 1

This is a nutshell version for people in a hurry. You'll get the other 2 steps throughout this week... so you have to come back!

The attitudes we hold about money and finances are often the reasons we don't have the financial independence we deserve. In fact, the only obstacle that truly stands in our way is usually our own beliefs.

Many times, people say to shift your beliefs just use more positive self-talk and you'll remove the obstacle. My experience as a prosperity coach, says that simply isn't what it takes. We have to go a bit deeper to allow a prosperity consciousness.

So here's Step 1:

You must first change your conscious feelings that stand in the way of seeing yourself as financially free and abundant. To begin this process, you'll need to identify why you even want to have financial independence.

Often, clients I am coaching say, "Of course, I want financial independence," and then when I ask them to really look at this with me, they might not see prosperity as good or might fear success or the concept of unlimited money. To pave the way to allow money in, most of us have to understand on a deep level that there is plenty of money. Think about this.. money is created by printing paper or molding coins... we can never run out!

If we feel there is a limited amount of money and fear that if we make a large share of it, there won't be enough for others, that fear of scarcity will drive us NOT to make money.

Can you see how we can get ourselves stuck?

Whatever we focus on and think about is what we intentionally create. So, if I say I want more money but underneath I am thinking "oh, I won't be able to manage more money" or "my friend needs it more" or "I don't deserve money" or even "this is a load of codswallop, I'll never be rich!", then that thought that we focus on is the dominant thought and the money gets blocked off. It is almost like self-sabotage.

So what are your real thoughts about financial abundance? How would you really feel if it fell in your lap? If you'd have any fear or doubts at all about how you would handle it or how you would react, then you have a blockage!

Terri Levine
http://www.coachinstitute.com
http://www.terrilevine.com

Friday, December 02, 2005

Are You Failing... or just Learning?

I was watching a friend's 7 year old riding her bike for the first time without those "trainer" wheels attached. She wobbled, she wavered, she yelled "Ya-hooey" (or something like that), straightened up, turned and faced us proudly and waved… then promptly proceeded to hit the curb and fall off.

We said she was doing fine, learning to ride her bike. Notice we didn't say anything about failing to ride her bike!

This got me thinking... we're nice to babies, too. Up they hop on fat wobbly legs, and usually only manage a couple of shaky steps before they fall on their heavily padded bottoms. When they fall over, we encourage them because we say they're learning to walk. Note: we do NOT tell them they are bad babies for failing to walk!

What about when your older child goes for their first real big job... and doesn't get it. (We know they didn't get it because they're kicking their bottom lip as they walk up to the house.) Do we scowl and mock them? Do we say things like, "You fool! Even a turkey sandwich could have landed that job! You're a failure at job hunting!" No, we don't say things like that. We are encouraging because our children are learning about what it's like in the "real world".

We consider all these types of experiences to be learning experiences... not failing experiences. In fact, falling on your bum, off your bike, getting rejected ... these are simply experiences in life. You may choose to think of them as failures but will that make you feel better? You don't quit, do you? You keep trying to walk, to ride, to get a dream job and so on... so you aren't failing... you are learning.

Not sure what brought this on... something to do with learning to ride... but there is a message in this for you. Read it again and if you are currently telling yourself that you are a failure in some aspect of life, it's time you reworded that...

Until next time...

Terri Levine
http://www.coachinstitute.com
http://www.terrilevine.com

Thursday, December 01, 2005

"That's a Funny Thing to Say..."

If your clients or customers ask for something strange or say something unexpected, do you tend to respond with comments like, "What an odd thing to say!" or "Wow, I've never been asked THAT before!" or any other response that in any way suggests you consider their comment or question unusual?

Even if you laugh it off, realize this... most people feel awkward or embarrassed when they're made to feel they've uttered something different to everyone else. They don't like to be seen as stupid or silly, and 9 times out of 10, they usually know they're asking a doozy of a question anyway and may even tell you so themselves.

Keep a straight face - your client's dignity must be maintained at all costs. Do not laugh or seem surprised or incredulous. Merely reassure them that "No question is too silly" or too different or too out there or too whatever.

Be cool, calm and collected - show them what you're made of - by handling their strange request or comment completely at ease and by all means taking it in your stride, then you are confirming to them that you are a true professional who knows your stuff and can be trusted.

Easy to remember, really... nobody likes to feel like a fool.

Terri Levine
http://www.coachinstitute.com
http://www.terrilevine.com