We've all met charming people - they're likable, popular, and if they said, "follow me to the ends of the earth", in a hypnotic trance, we just might do that.
We'd all like to think we are charming and sometimes we are, but true charm doesn't turn on and off like a tap. It's inherent in everything we do, in all our dealings with all people.
Fakes always get caught out. So we want to practice being charming at all times - whatever we are doing, with whomever we are doing it. When we earn the reputation of being "charming", people we deal with are more obliging, friendlier, and life becomes so much easier in so many ways. So, to live a "charmed life", we want to incorporate some charming mannerisms.
Being charming is having the ability to make people feel at ease around you and enjoy being around you and dealing with you, in business, your private life, or your career.
Face to face charm...You can practice your charm when you walk down the street... don't quickly look away when a stranger meets your gaze. Look back into their eyes and smile. Charming people acknowledge others, even if just with a smile.
Be friendly. You can practice this anywhere you meet people - strangers in the street, the movie usher, the checkout person at your local shop. Look them in the eye and smile. Use a friendly tone. Say, "How are you?" You will stand out in their memory as a friendly, charming person.
Friendly, small talk. Don't give us that "I’m too busy for small talk" business! If you have time to stand in a queue, in an elevator, or anywhere for that matter, near another living being, you have time to be "nice". People like to know others care about them. "How are you?" "How's your day?" "That's a nice jacket you're wearing." You don't have to dazzle with Einstein brilliance - just acknowledge another human being in a way that says, "Hello, I recognize and acknowledge you for the special human being that you are."
Be complimentary. Don't overdo it - you don't want to be smarmy or appear insincere! Not only do people love to be noticed, but also they love to be seen in a good light. Many times, we do notice nice things about other people - new hairdo, shoes, clothing, lipstick, or whatever, but we just don't say it out aloud. Try voicing your complimentary opinions next time.
Try this with your waiter and see if you notice an upgrade in service... "Hi, you look busy tonight. Are they running you off your feet?" You have just been friendly, acknowledged another human being and the fact that they are busy. You have, in a way, shown that you care about the waiter. He or she will give you great service, and the person who merely barked in snobbish tones, "Bring me a tonic water" will get that but little else.
We can practice our charm over the phone and in our emails. We do this by smiling and being friendly and polite. We watch our choice of words. We always want the other person to feel special and appreciated and acknowledged. It doesn't matter if the other person is higher up the ladder or not. A charming person does not differentiate between those perceived to be above or below or equal to him/her.
So, if you want to live a charmed life... be charming!
Terri Levine
http://www.coachinstitute.com
http://www.terrilevine.com
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