Are YOU a "Judge"???

Judging people is a bit like judging trees and just as constructive. There are many types of trees, but because one is older, or taller, or has more branches than another does not make that tree right, or better than the tree next to it. There are many types of trees, but the truth is, they are still just trees.

Professional Coaches are trained to hold a neutral position. After all, who are we to judge? For example, as a Coach, I may find myself a client who earns his living as a professional gambler, but what he does for a living is separate from who he is as a fellow human being. I tell him I stand for him as a human being, as a person. I stand for his rights and who he is as an individual and not for what the goals are that he accomplishes or doesn’t accomplish. He could change his career tomorrow, but he will still be a human being, like me, and that is the person I am coaching... not the gambler. However, letting go of reacting to what others say or do or who they are is challenging, admittedly, and requires a great deal of practice.

But you mustn't confuse making observations with making judgments. Making observations is something else we all do. We're always making observations too, like observing what somebody is wearing, what mood somebody is in, etc. Making powerful and useful observations is another Coaching technique. But powerful observations must always be truthful, and again, as a Coach, a powerful observation is my way of saying this is what I think at this point in time from the facts available to me at this point in time, but I do not make or express judgment and I am not coming from a position of who is right or who is wrong, I am simply expressing my perception of something as it appears. There is no right, there is no wrong, there is no judgment. I make my observations the same way that I might observe, "oh, it's a sunny day today."

Next time you hold a judgment about a person's appearance or something they are saying, practice this:

1. Remind yourself not to think about what they say with any judgment. Just "hear" what they're saying and don't form any judgment in your head about it.


2. Focus on the person you are listening to and not your feelings or what you want to say in reply.


3. Set aside your personal feelings, beliefs, or agendas. Don't take what they are saying personally - unless of course, it IS personal.


4. Listen to everything as if it was a plain and simple fact and nothing more.


5. Whenever you feel yourself getting emotionally charged or reactive, remind yourself to be quiet and just listen.

With continued practice, you will find that as you put judgment aside, you will gain the benefits of making greater connections with people, you will experience less stress and discomfort, and you will spend less time and energy with negative thoughts and more just being and letting others be.

Be Happy!

Terri Levine
http://www.coachinstitute.com
http://www.terrilevine.com