Trust and Commitment

As I contemplated on this theme of self-confidence, two qualities came up that go along with it and they are: Trust and Commitment. Having self-confidence is a reflection of our viewpoint in regards to how much we value ourselves, trust in our inner voices, and stay committed to this agreement we make with ourselves.

In our youth we are taught certain correct behaviors that are acceptable to society. Even though I acknowledge that in many ways this is an important part of maturing, being successful at these behaviors can also encourage us to slip into a performance based behavior rather than being authentic and true to ourselves.

I call this the strategic self - acting in whatever strategy is needed in order to bring about the result one wants. Think about a time when you were using anger to control a situation, pouting to show your unhappiness, alluring to be attractive, or yelling to get something accomplished. These "selves" are not your true self - which comes from working from the heart - they are learned behaviors, strategies so to speak. These are the selves created by the mind and also the ones in which we build our self-esteem around, mainly because they are so familiar to us (habits).

So, how does one shift from the mind to the heart? How does one build their self-confidence based on values, on love? It starts with commitment to focus on who you are rather than on what you do. Think about your gifts and strengths - parts of you that come from the heart. When we judge ourselves by what we do, what we wear, what our income level is, what car we drive, what house we live in, we are putting our trust in mind created, external realities. And does this bring joy?

Sometimes, but it's not long lasting because it's always in the state of change. Our looks change, our income changes, our friends and family come and go and we struggle to find balance. However, when we focus on being grateful for our sense of humor, our ability to forgive, our love for all of nature, whatever, this act of trusting opens our hearts and everything becomes effortless.

What do we get when we commit to focus on "being" rather than on "doing"? I have found I am more relaxed, peaceful, more playful and more confident. In short, I become empowered which gives me the strength to move forward, improve my life and have a constant flow of inner joy. So, be grateful for who you are, trust your heart to guide you and stay committed to make this awareness a top priority moment to moment. The feeling of overall well-being will be worth it.

Terri Levine
http://www.coachinstitute.com
http://www.terrilevine.com/