Reflecting back is a time-honored communication skill. Reflecting back means the listener fully listens and tunes into a speaker and then explains what they heard not only from the words but from underneath the words - from the feeeeeeeeeeeeeelings. After a person reflects back, the speaker can then clarify what they wanted to say or check that what they did say was what the listener got.
Before you reflect back it is important to quiet your mind (we have a GREAT visualization tool for this at www.CoachInstitute.com). The listener then tunes in and focuses on the type of language the speaker uses, the feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelings beneath the words and they hear the information with no reaction.
When the speaker is complete, the listener then shares what they heard, in a charge-neutral, non-judgmental way. After the listener shares what they heard they check in with the speaker by saying something like, "Do I get this right?"... or "Is this what you meant?"...
Reflecting back is not about debating what the speaker said. Reflecting back is a way to gain clarity.
Wouldn't it be cool if some readers posted what they heard me saying?
Terri Levine
www.CoachInstitute.com
www.TerriLevine.com
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