How Are Your Verbals?

Whether you are a Speaker or a "thinking about it" speaker, you need to think about this...

When you speak, do you inspire, persuade, and enthuse, or do you send people to sleep? When you look out over your audience, are they captivated by you and you have their full attention? Or when you look out over the room is one group discussing something secret with their heads together, someone else sneaking out of the room with some other sneaky friends, and people starting to do their own thing? Maybe some really are snoring! You get the idea.

If you fall into the latter category, fear not my dull friend...

Good verbal skills can be easily acquired, and to get you started, here are a few tips:

• Speak energetically, with enthusiasm - vary your pitch - don't just speak in a monotone - sound excited.
  
• Speak with feeling. Speak with sincerity - of course, in speaking thus, you must always mean what you say!
  
• Don't "preach" - give examples. People understand more by example. Get your point across via a story.
  
• Speak clearly, slowly, and in simple terms that everyone can understand - don't try to impress by using big words or jargon!
  
• Speak animatedly - make twinkling eye contact - move your hands a little (but don't conduct an orchestra!)

That should do for starters... oh, forgot something really important - pick an interesting subject! (Creative Uses for Toenail Clippings just may not do it for everybody, get what I mean?)

Until next time...

Terri Levine
http://www.comprehensivecoachingu.com
http://www.terrilevine.com
http://www.coachinstitute.com

10 Ways to Lose Customers

If you are in a 'live' business as opposed to a 'virtual' online business and you actually deal firsthand with your customers, if you want to make the most of the buying frenzy this and any other special season, make sure your staff don't makes these mistakes!

There are many things which drive all of us, in our capacity of "customers" absolutely crazy. Things which can turn us off buying from certain shops and businesses. Some of the most irritating things which drive us crazy include:

1. Queuing up in a long line at a cash register because despite the crowd, the other registers are closed!


2. Waiting to be served while the salesclerks stand behind the counter chatting about what they did on the weekend or take private calls!


3. Rearranging our busy schedules so we can stay home all day waiting for a tradesman who never turns up or comes hours later, and never bothers to ring to tell you!


4. Being given wrong information from salesclerks who don't know what they're talking about!


5. Being served in person or on the phone by a lazy salesperson who can't be bothered finding out for you and will either lie to you or just say 'its not my department' and leave it hanging there!


6. Misleading advertising!


7. Being quoted a price by a salesclerk, only to discover later that the real price is higher!


8. Sales items are not in stock. What? Did they only have one to sell at sales price?


9. Rude salesclerks. Sales and store people who patronize you with their attitude.


10. Hanging around a store waiting for service - you can see clerks available but they don't want to do any work! Or worse, being tailed like a potential shoplifter!

Of course, your staff are likely to be on their best behavior if you stand around them... why not have an unknown friend or relative come into your store and put your staff to the test!

Till next time...

Terri Levine
http://www.comprehensivecoachingu.com
http://www.terrilevine.com
http://www.coachinstitute.com

3 Steps to Prosperity - Step 3

The last part of the prosperity coaching process is to give money away.

I don't care if you are in a place of lacking for money right now, give something away. Pay for another car going through a toll booth, or give a friend something. As you give money away, you open up the channels of yourself receiving money. You show that you are believing (maybe not fully, yet) that there is abundance and that you trust that more will come back to you. This puts you in alignment with prosperity.

I have seen this in action. It is a universal law and it works. Until you feel confident and discover for yourself that this does work, start off with small donations. Give away your small change to all the small charity boxes in stores. Help out the old lady at the checkout ahead of you who is $5 short to pay her shopping bill. Give generously in your Church when the plate is passed around.

What goes around, comes around! If you hoard your money, you halt the process and effectively block any more coming to you... you have to keep the flow going...

Look at all of the wealthiest people in the world today - major business leaders and entrepreneurs, even famous singers and movie stars - these people spend hundreds of thousands on donations and doing things for those less fortunate than themselves. And yet, they never seem to run out of money, even though they're giving it all away! They know that somehow, it will come back to them plus more via some wonderful new opportunity or "amazing strike of good luck"!

I tell my clients, "you are allowed to have it all!". There is nothing that stops you from having financial independence but you - I know that's hard to hear. We'd rather blame someone or something else, right? It is time for you to declare YOUR financial freedom and create the money you deserve!

You've got the 3 basic steps, so what's stopping you?

Terri Levine
http://www.comprehensivecoachingu.com
http://www.terrilevine.com
http://www.coachinstitute.com

3 Steps to Prosperity - Step 2

I've never believed whoever created me said "you should suffer" or "you should starve"...

I believe my creator said, "We have this energy exchange; it is called money. There is an abundance of it. Go give it, go get it, go enjoy it, and feel free to want to give and get lots of it."

No wonder I've never experienced a financial lack. My inner beliefs aren't in alignment with financial lack. I have financial independence because my inner story creates the outer match to money. And that is what I was talking about in Step 1.

Now for Step 2...

I start my clients off by having them write a money story. I ask them to go decade by decade writing their own beliefs or stories about money, without judging them, just noticing them. People surface up all kinds of things from "money is the root of all evil" to "get enough money to burn". It is interesting to see what your own beliefs are. I highly recommend, to let in prosperity and financial independence, you begin to notice what you have heard or believed.

Separate the wheat from the chaff here... discard the beliefs you've inherited from well meaning parents or teachers. If you've been told that you'll never be rich simply because you come from a poor family yourself... well, that's one belief to toss away right now!

Then create a desire list. Come up with all the things you want that money can bring, like: ability to give to a certain foundation; a health care treatment; a new home, etc. Money doesn't come if we have a low desire for it and aren't feeling good about attracting it. When we get into a place of feeling high desire and feeling great about what we want to have that comes with money, then we are opening up to money coming in.

This is no time for feeling guilty. Everyone can put themselves in a place of abundance - the only thing holding them back is their limiting beliefs - their self sabotage. And you are not personally responsible for the way the entire world's population thinks, right? If you want to improve the world, you can only start with yourself. I think abundance is a great form of self-improvement - sure beats poverty, right?!

Terri Levine
http://www.terrilevine.com
http://www.comprehensivecoachingu.com
http://www.coachinstitute.com

3 Steps to Prosperity - Step 1

This is a nutshell version for people in a hurry. You'll get the other 2 steps throughout this week... so you have to come back!

The attitudes we hold about money and finances are often the reasons we don't have the financial independence we deserve. In fact, the only obstacle that truly stands in our way is usually our own beliefs.

Many times, people say to shift your beliefs just use more positive self-talk and you'll remove the obstacle. My experience as a prosperity coach, says that simply isn't what it takes. We have to go a bit deeper to allow a prosperity consciousness.

So here's Step 1:

You must first change your conscious feelings that stand in the way of seeing yourself as financially free and abundant. To begin this process, you'll need to identify why you even want to have financial independence.

Often, clients I am coaching say, "Of course, I want financial independence," and then when I ask them to really look at this with me, they might not see prosperity as good or might fear success or the concept of unlimited money. To pave the way to allow money in, most of us have to understand on a deep level that there is plenty of money. Think about this.. money is created by printing paper or molding coins... we can never run out!

If we feel there is a limited amount of money and fear that if we make a large share of it, there won't be enough for others, that fear of scarcity will drive us NOT to make money.

Can you see how we can get ourselves stuck?

Whatever we focus on and think about is what we intentionally create. So, if I say I want more money but underneath I am thinking "oh, I won't be able to manage more money" or "my friend needs it more" or "I don't deserve money" or even "this is a load of codswallop, I'll never be rich!", then that thought that we focus on is the dominant thought and the money gets blocked off. It is almost like self-sabotage.

So what are your real thoughts about financial abundance? How would you really feel if it fell in your lap? If you'd have any fear or doubts at all about how you would handle it or how you would react, then you have a blockage!

Terri Levine
http://www.coachinstitute.com
http://www.terrilevine.com

Are You Failing... or just Learning?

I was watching a friend's 7 year old riding her bike for the first time without those "trainer" wheels attached. She wobbled, she wavered, she yelled "Ya-hooey" (or something like that), straightened up, turned and faced us proudly and waved… then promptly proceeded to hit the curb and fall off.

We said she was doing fine, learning to ride her bike. Notice we didn't say anything about failing to ride her bike!

This got me thinking... we're nice to babies, too. Up they hop on fat wobbly legs, and usually only manage a couple of shaky steps before they fall on their heavily padded bottoms. When they fall over, we encourage them because we say they're learning to walk. Note: we do NOT tell them they are bad babies for failing to walk!

What about when your older child goes for their first real big job... and doesn't get it. (We know they didn't get it because they're kicking their bottom lip as they walk up to the house.) Do we scowl and mock them? Do we say things like, "You fool! Even a turkey sandwich could have landed that job! You're a failure at job hunting!" No, we don't say things like that. We are encouraging because our children are learning about what it's like in the "real world".

We consider all these types of experiences to be learning experiences... not failing experiences. In fact, falling on your bum, off your bike, getting rejected ... these are simply experiences in life. You may choose to think of them as failures but will that make you feel better? You don't quit, do you? You keep trying to walk, to ride, to get a dream job and so on... so you aren't failing... you are learning.

Not sure what brought this on... something to do with learning to ride... but there is a message in this for you. Read it again and if you are currently telling yourself that you are a failure in some aspect of life, it's time you reworded that...

Until next time...

Terri Levine
http://www.coachinstitute.com
http://www.terrilevine.com

"That's a Funny Thing to Say..."

If your clients or customers ask for something strange or say something unexpected, do you tend to respond with comments like, "What an odd thing to say!" or "Wow, I've never been asked THAT before!" or any other response that in any way suggests you consider their comment or question unusual?

Even if you laugh it off, realize this... most people feel awkward or embarrassed when they're made to feel they've uttered something different to everyone else. They don't like to be seen as stupid or silly, and 9 times out of 10, they usually know they're asking a doozy of a question anyway and may even tell you so themselves.

Keep a straight face - your client's dignity must be maintained at all costs. Do not laugh or seem surprised or incredulous. Merely reassure them that "No question is too silly" or too different or too out there or too whatever.

Be cool, calm and collected - show them what you're made of - by handling their strange request or comment completely at ease and by all means taking it in your stride, then you are confirming to them that you are a true professional who knows your stuff and can be trusted.

Easy to remember, really... nobody likes to feel like a fool.

Terri Levine
http://www.coachinstitute.com
http://www.terrilevine.com

Get a Shot - Not a Virus

Winter approaches. Flu viruses are headed your way. GO GET A FLU SHOT NOW! No, a flu shot cannot protect you from every flu virus nor the brand new strains - some of which are killers - but what it can do is reduce the severity or duration of your symptoms if you DO get struck by a flu virus this winter.

If getting a flu shot gives you a fighting chance this winter, get one. With our extensive international contacts, we know that the bird flu isn't the ONLY virus causing folks a great deal of suffering this year (in those parts of the world where flu viruses are still running rampant), and we in the northern hemisphere have the prospect of facing these viruses this winter!

If you're a business owner, it may even be in your best interests to subsidize the cost of flu shots for your employees... if you value their productivity that is!

'nuff said! Go do as you're told!

Terri Levine
http://www.coachinstitute.com
http://www.terrilevine.com

What Type of Fear is It?

For some people, some experiences, especially new experiences, produce fear in them. Fear of the unknown is not uncommon and explains why so many people prefer to stay where they are rather than explore opportunities.

Let's talk about two different kinds of fear: one is an exciting type of fear, and another is a more negative type of fear.

The exciting type of fear is the sort of fear you feel as you are about to parachute out of an airplane. (If you are reading this and the thought of parachuting terrifies you, substitute this with an experience that you would find fun, yet maybe a little scary, too. Maybe riding a roller-coaster will do it?)

The more negative type of fear is similar to how you feel when, for example, you are headed to your dental appointment for a procedure that worries you - like a root canal! (Funny how so many people can relate to that - so many comparisons are made to root canals!)

So next time you face a new experience, determine what type of fear it is that you are feeling. Decide whether it is justified. (Entering a lion's den at feeding time, with no protection would be a justified fear - watching the lion feed from behind the safety fence would not.)

Know that you CAN handle either type of fear, but it is your RESPONSE that will determine your success. Is yours the exhilarating fear of a parachute jump or a trip to the Dentist? Your goal is to have the exciting fears outnumber the negative fear experiences. When you face a new experience or challenge, a little fear-analysis can go a long way!

BUNGEEEEE!!!!!

Terri Levine
http://www.coachinstitute.com
http://www.terrilevine.com

TIME WASTERS!

The last blog got me thinking... it's not always that we don't have enough time in our days to achieve everything... it's more that we don't have enough time in our days to achieve the things we WANT to do! By the time we've done the things we feel obligated to do, sometimes there is no time left over for us. Ever felt that way?

Despair not, dear blog reader! All you need to do is adjust your priorities and reevaluate your expectations. A little bit of reorganization and deleting hidden time-wasting elements from our days can free up more than enough time for the things we WANT to do. Truly!

So, where do you start on this project? Here are some tips...

1. Have a jolly good clean-out! Get rid of the junk and clutter - whether it be too many ornaments that take hours to dust, or a mountain of paperwork, most of which doesn't have to be kept but you haven't gotten around to sorting through it yet. The idea is to clear your space - it will help you feel better and the energy around you will feel freer.


2. Do you have a system in place for your important information? Many people are more organized in their office than they are at home! Get a second hand filing cabinet and start filing! Knowing exactly where to find an important document quickly will save you hours of searching and stressing.


3. Prioritize and schedule your day - but be flexible. Allow for unexpected events, visitors, mishaps, illness or just can't be bothered moments. At the end of the day, any of this unused extra time is all YOURS. If you have to, shut your door and take the phone off the hook so you can work uninterrupted.


4. Stop putting things off. If a task is so unpalatable that you keep finding excuses not to start it, just DO it! Get it out of the way and you'll feel a whole lot better when you don't have it hanging over you like a dark cloud.

Of course, time management issues may not be the only thing holding you back and messing up your days, but you won't know for sure what your time waster culprits are until you examine your days.

Hey, I have a good idea! Why not hire a coach to help you! You can find one here: http://www.coachinginstruction.com/findacoach.htm

Terri Levine
http://www.coachinstitute.com
http://www.terrilevine.com

DO YOU CONTROL YOUR LIFE OR DOES IT CONTROL YOU?

Do you feel caught in a perpetual tug-o-war between the needs of your family and the demands of your work? If so, you've got a lot of company. Balance has become the Holy Grail in the new world of work.

What is balance? Let's begin by talking about what balance is not. Balance is not about squeezing as much as possible into every second of every day. Balance is not about double booking your schedule or worshipping a ten page "To Do" list. Balance is not about being a slave to email. No, balance is about savoring life. Balance is about listening to your favorite music or eating lunch in the sunshine on a beautiful day. Balance is about making choices that allow you to be YOU in the best way possible.

Achieving balance begins with tossing out time management tools. Realize that time management tools are just that -- tools. Not "laws". They are only effective when used in the right situation. Would you use a tape measure to plug a leaky pipe? Probably not. Too many of us have blindly embraced a generic "one-size-fits-all" time management lifestyle in our quest to squeeze more things into our lives. But do you really want to do MORE things...or do you want to do MORE MEANINGFUL things?

Go for balance by building your life around what is truly important to you.

Terri Levine
http://www.coachinstitute.com
http://www.terrilevine.com

Avoiding Work From Home Scams and Pitfalls

Work from Home: a veritable cornucopia of self-employment opportunities exists, and for the unwary and unprepared, an equal number of pitfalls exist. There is so much hype about going solo, and there are also get-rich-quick schemes, pyramid schemes, scams, get-paid-to-surf or take surveys etc. to be avoided.

Don't quit your day job without doing your homework. Before considering any drastic moves, realize that it is going to require hard work and commitment. There is no such thing as easy money. Plan properly in the first place. Accept that you are going to make mistakes - nobody is perfect and nobody knows everything there is to know up front. Be prepared to learn from your mistakes and move forward. Don't expect instant results, instant fame, or instant fortune. There is nothing instant about starting your own business.

This means making sure you have money to fall back on during the lean or quiet times and having enough to start up with in the first place. If in doubt, get financial advice first - see a financial planner who can help you get things right from the beginning. Set goals and make sure they are realistic. Keep your focus on your goals and maintain a positive, "can do" attitude. When you have done your research and settled on a business, make sure you know the regulations governing your home based business. Do you need any approvals? A business license? Do you need a special permit to work out of your home? Check with your local authorities. Do you need to inform the IRS of your change in circumstances? Do you need to register your business?

Do some market research - is there a market for your product/service? Will it be profitable for you? What about the competition? How do you plan to stack up against the competition? Can you compete? How are your skill levels and knowledge or work-experience? Do you know enough to start your own business and be successful? Your skills and abilities will also determine what type of business would be most suitable for you. Doing something you love is the ideal, because you are more likely to work harder but still enjoy yourself so it doesn't really seem like work.

Do you really have what it takes to be self-employed? Are you the entrepreneurial type? Do you enjoy risk taking? Does it bother you that you don't know how much money you will have month to month? Do you realize that self-employed people often have a more difficult time trying to arrange bank finance? Remember you will also have to cover your own healthcare costs. And you will be working alone. Some people go stir-crazy just thinking about working alone!

Finally, are you self-motivated? Can you make yourself stay in your home office and work even though the sun is shining and there's a great movie on TV you haven't seen? Remember, you will be your own Boss now and your own employee. Various, independent surveys have found that the skills most lacking in new self-employed businesses involve sales, marketing, financial management, and record keeping (book-keeping). How will you cover these things? Can you afford to pay somebody else to look after these? Do you know enough about these areas to handle them yourself, or are you prepared to learn?

Perhaps the most important assets are self-confidence and ambition. Without these, you may be doomed from the start, but with them, you will be able to overcome your obstacles, climb your mountains, and enjoy the view from the top!

Until next week... have a good one!

Terri Levine
http://www.coachinstitute.com
http://www.terrilevine.com

WHERE'S THE FUN IN GROWING UP?

We could be adult about this and present our thoughts and ideas in a logical and mature fashion, but where would be the fun in that? If you want a serious and sensible read to remind you how grown up you are or should be, check out the local library. But if you are here now, let's have FUN.

As "mature" adults, we tend to forget how to have fun. We put rules around it. Why should we have fun? Well, let me ask you, why shouldn't we have fun? When we reach a certain age is having fun illegal? Doing "child-like" things doesn't make us childish or children. How can it? What is the worst that can happen if this winter, you go outside with your children or grandchildren and make snow angels?

We're not suggesting you should start throwing tantrums, but we are saying fun doesn't stop just because you become an adult and take on solemn responsibilities. Why shouldn't CEO's run around in their backyard throwing Frisbees, and why shouldn't adult guests in your car wave to people out the back window, and why shouldn't we all do the things we loved to do when we were kids, if it makes us feel happy and alive inside and puts a smile on our faces? Perhaps we think it is childish? And somehow, that tag, when you're an adult, becomes an insult.

I want you to think about that this week... right now I'm off to a tea-party!

Terri Levine
http://www.coachinstitute.com
http://www.terrilevine.com

When You're Not Good Enough - Part 3 (Final)

When you are feeling "down", this is when you are most likely to remember "down" experiences, which just makes you feel even more down. When you feel down, force yourself to remember happy events and successes - this will influence your brain and help lift your mood and self-esteem.

When you are engaging in self-talk - watch what you say. Most people say things to themselves that they'd never say to somebody else. To a friend we might say, "it's not that bad, don't worry about it." To ourselves, we're likely to say "You great @#*&#! - why can't you do anything right!" If you wouldn't say it to somebody else, don't say it to yourself.

Realize that self-confident people also have bouts of self-doubt... they just don't talk about it or advertise it. By pretending they're not, it helps them overcome it.

Failure isn't permanent unless you decide to let it be. But not everything you do has to work out... nobody is that perfect!

It's good manners to be obliging but it isn't a law. You don't have to please everyone all the time. You have a right to please yourself. If you weren't as important as everyone else on the planet, then you wouldn't be here.

You don't have to change to suit other people. Don't try to be somebody you are not. The whole world doesn't have to like you, and that's okay. For every person who doesn't like you, there is another one who does like you - for who you are.

Use positive affirmations. Start each day by saying them, and end each day saying them before you go to sleep.

Some food for thought...

"While one person hesitates because he feels inferior, the other is busy making mistakes and becoming superior." - Henry C. Link

"Someone's opinion of you does not have to become your reality." - Les Brown

"If you think you're a second-class citizen, you are." - Ted Turner

"Nobody holds a good opinion of a man who has a low opinion of himself." - Anthony Trollope

And if you're reading this blog, you can't be all bad! (smile)

Terri Levine
http://www.coachinstitute.com
http://www.terrilevine.com

CREATIVE PROBLEM SOLVING

Next time you face a problem, try reversing the problem. Say you are hosting a seminar and need to increase sponsorship. Sit down and make a list of all the ways you know how to DECREASE sponsorship. Or say you need to increase productivity in your department... make a list of all the ways you know to DECREASE productivity. The answers to your problems will be found in your lists. You can find problems you may not have been aware of before, and identifying them makes it easier to fix them!

Often, the real problem is masked. When discussing problems, try stating the problem in different ways, and ask for differing viewpoints. Explaining the problem to others out loud helps clarify it. Sometimes exploring what you DON'T want to happen can be just as useful as exploring what you DO want to happen!

Sometimes it is a matter of asking the right questions when we want the answer to problems. Sometimes we need to ask "What if..." questions. This is where your imagination comes in handy. Brainstorm!

Study how others have handled similar problems. Adapt their "answers" to meet your needs, or add their solutions to your list of possible remedies!

Don't settle for the first solution offered. You may find you end up with several possible solutions and one of them will be better than the rest.

Keep notes of your possible solutions - they may come in handy for future brainstorming sessions when discussing new problems.

Terri Levine
http://www.coachinstitute.com
http://www.terrilevine.com

The Mexican Fisherman

The investment banker was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several large yellow fin tuna. The Banker complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took to catch them. The Mexican replied, only a little while.

The Banker then asked why didn't he stay out longer and catch more fish? The Mexican said he had enough to support his family's immediate needs. The banker then asked, "but what do you do with the rest of your time?"

The Mexican fisherman said, "I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take siesta with my wife, Maria, stroll into the village each evening where I sip wine and play guitar with my amigos, I have a full and busy life."

The banker scoffed, "I am a Harvard MBA and could help you. You should spend more time fishing and with the proceeds, buy a bigger boat with the proceeds from the bigger boat you could buy several boats, eventually you would have a fleet of fishing boats. Instead of selling your catch to a middleman you would sell directly to the processor, eventually opening your own cannery. You would control the product, processing and distribution. You would need to leave this small coastal fishing village and move to Mexico City, then LA and eventually NYC where you will run your expanding enterprise."

The Mexican fisherman asked, "But, how long will this all take?"

To which the banker replied, "15-20 years."

"But what then?"

The banker laughed and said that's the best part. "When the time is right you would announce an IPO and sell your company stock to the public and become very rich, you would make millions."

"Millions... Then what?"

The banker said, "Then you would retire. Move to a small coastal fishing village where you would sleep late, fish a little, play with your kids, take siesta with your wife, stroll to the village in the evenings where you could sip wine and play your guitar with your amigos."

Terri Levine
http://www.coachinstitute.com
http://www.terrilevine.com

When You're Not Good Enough - Part 2

"I'm too self-conscious"
Think about a time when you were really having a great time and enjoying yourself, or when you achieved something special... I bet you weren't thinking about yourself then... you were too engrossed in the situation or moment. When you start to think about yourself and you feel your esteem slipping, turn your focus to something else - concentrate on the task at hand or whatever you are doing... and if your "self" continues to invade your thoughts, just keep repeating "This is okay, I'm okay", and refocus on something else.

"That was just good luck"
Was it? Or was it something more? When something works out well for you, don't just write it off as 'good luck'... realize that in most cases we create our own 'good luck' situations, so you must have done something to have earned the success. Start to take credit for your successes - pat yourself on the back and say, "Well done, self!"

"I just can't be bothered..."
Why not? If you are so lacking in confidence that it's got to this stage, start doing things you know you are good at - and it can be anything! Doing something you know you are good at, and doing it well because of that, is a surefire way of boosting your self-esteem. Do things you are good at often - keep your self-esteem up and it will make a difference when the times comes for you to do something new or different. Maybe you are good at cooking, or writing, or dancing, or arts... it doesn't have to be something serious.

"I'm too uptight"
Try meditation, exercise, Tai Chi, or relaxation tapes. It's hard to think straight when we're stressed or uptight and anxious. Relaxing helps you to get things back into perspective and think clearly.

"I'm never right"
Really? Never? You'd best contact the Guinness Book of Records then. Make a list of the times when you were right, and remember, nobody is right all the time... in fact, there are people who are wrong many times, but they don't let that stop them or their enthusiasm for life. You are allowed to be wrong... none of us are perfect and nobody is right all the time.

Stay tuned for Part 3 next week...

Terri Levine
http://www.coachinstitute.com
http://www.terrilevine.com

"Get a Life"

When one of my Assistant's daughters was just 6 years old, she said something that reminded us about the simple wisdom of children. One day, having an in-depth discussion about life, spirituality, goals, etc., when my assistant asked her daughter what she thought was the most important thing about being alive, she replied:

"Having a life."

And therein lies a lesson for all of us!

Here is what is not important about being alive...

1. Have the biggest house on the street
   
2. Driving the most expensive car
   
3. Owning more shoes than your friends
   
4. Earning more money than your rival
   
5. Being bigger, better, and more important than everyone else
   
6. Wearing designer label clothes
   
7. Looking like a Barbie Doll or a skinny model from Vogue

There's more but I'm sure you get the picture.

Now, here is what IS important about being alive...

1. Having a roof over your head - a place to call home, however humble.
   
2. Having transport whether it's public or a run-down old heap that saves you from having to walk long distances in appalling weather!
   
3. Having feet upon which to wear shoes and being able to walk on them!
   
4. Earning any kind of income that enables you to feed and clothe yourself and your family and living in a country where the Government will help you out if you're really down.
   
5. Knowing and feeling the connection and that you are part of everything there is... you are connected to the richest man in your city and the poorest... we are all part of the whole - we all belong here.
   
6. Having any kind of clothing on your back and not having to wear rags or beg for loin cloths!


7. Being healthy and being loved - regardless of what we look like. You know you're really loved when you're poor, you look like the bottom of a shoe, you live in a car and none of that matters to the people loving you! (The plastic-surgically enhanced Barbies and Kens of the world don't have this guarantee... and if you don't have their hang ups, consider yourself very lucky.)

So, be thankful for your feet, your eyes, your nose, your ears, your hands - everything. Then look around this beautiful world and appreciate the trees, the flowers, the sunsets, the birdsong, walks along the beach... take it all in... it's special, it's free and it's what having a life is all about!

Until next week...

Terri Levine
http://www.coachinstitute.com
http://www.terrilevine.com

Trust and Commitment

As I contemplated on this theme of self-confidence, two qualities came up that go along with it and they are: Trust and Commitment. Having self-confidence is a reflection of our viewpoint in regards to how much we value ourselves, trust in our inner voices, and stay committed to this agreement we make with ourselves.

In our youth we are taught certain correct behaviors that are acceptable to society. Even though I acknowledge that in many ways this is an important part of maturing, being successful at these behaviors can also encourage us to slip into a performance based behavior rather than being authentic and true to ourselves.

I call this the strategic self - acting in whatever strategy is needed in order to bring about the result one wants. Think about a time when you were using anger to control a situation, pouting to show your unhappiness, alluring to be attractive, or yelling to get something accomplished. These "selves" are not your true self - which comes from working from the heart - they are learned behaviors, strategies so to speak. These are the selves created by the mind and also the ones in which we build our self-esteem around, mainly because they are so familiar to us (habits).

So, how does one shift from the mind to the heart? How does one build their self-confidence based on values, on love? It starts with commitment to focus on who you are rather than on what you do. Think about your gifts and strengths - parts of you that come from the heart. When we judge ourselves by what we do, what we wear, what our income level is, what car we drive, what house we live in, we are putting our trust in mind created, external realities. And does this bring joy?

Sometimes, but it's not long lasting because it's always in the state of change. Our looks change, our income changes, our friends and family come and go and we struggle to find balance. However, when we focus on being grateful for our sense of humor, our ability to forgive, our love for all of nature, whatever, this act of trusting opens our hearts and everything becomes effortless.

What do we get when we commit to focus on "being" rather than on "doing"? I have found I am more relaxed, peaceful, more playful and more confident. In short, I become empowered which gives me the strength to move forward, improve my life and have a constant flow of inner joy. So, be grateful for who you are, trust your heart to guide you and stay committed to make this awareness a top priority moment to moment. The feeling of overall well-being will be worth it.

Terri Levine
http://www.coachinstitute.com
http://www.terrilevine.com/

So, You're Not "Good Enough", eh?

Or maybe you are saying you're not pretty enough, handsome enough, smart enough, rich enough...?

Eleanor Roosevelt said, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." And truer words were never spoken!

Not discounting those who may have been born with a predisposition to feelings of inadequacy, the majority of people who suffer poor self-esteem are the result of conditioning. Perhaps their parents or teachers were overly critical, and said things like, "You'll never amount to anything!" or "Is that the best you can do?!" or compared them unfavorably to brothers and sisters.

An inferiority complex goes hand in hand with lack of self-confidence and can be the difference between getting a great job or promotion or living a life of mediocrity. Here are some tips for handling and dealing with the different ways low self-esteem affects us and our lives.

"I'm not good enough"

Really? Can you prove that? Is this why you don't go for those great jobs or promotions or any of your dreams? If you aren't "good enough" in terms of skills or education, go and get the skills and education you need for the job or promotion you want. It's never too late - as the growing number of adult education centers bears testimony to.

Try to be realistic... are you really not good enough, or is this just something you've heard and have been repeating to yourself for so long that you can't even remember how it started? Take a look at your track record - list all your achievements, big and small - you'll find your plenty "good enough" after all! (Hey, now I'm a poet!)

You can always be "good enough" at work by simply being and doing the best you can. Arrive on time; don't take "sickies" unless you really are sick; be helpful and cooperative to others; learn your own job so well that you're an expert at it; don't loaf; don't dawdle back to work after lunch; make every effort to get along with your boss and fellow workers - display a cheerful, cooperative disposition. If you are stressed, learn how to handle it - there are books, tapes, websites, and experts who can help you identify and conquer the stress in your life.

If you are already doing these things, then you ARE good enough. If you aren't, you can start now and if you find some habits hard to change, just pretend, and soon you will have developed the newer, successful habit and will no longer have to pretend.

Next week, I'll tell you about some other ways in which we feel not good enough and how to conquer them.

Terri Levine
http://www.coachinstitute.com
http://www.terrilevine.com