Loving Laura

All my clients seek to have healthy relationships with all of the people in their lives, from parents, to partners, to children, to co-workers and friends. There are some general guidelines for healthy relationships and today "Laura" and I were coaching on this topic.

The guiding principles we identified for all relationships all had tuning in deeply as their undercurrent. This means to deeply hear what the person and saying and more so what they are not saying and what they are feeling. It is about listening for the essence of their message and giving them your full and loving attention, as if nothing else mattered at all, just them. If you are too distracted by your own thoughts or what you want to say or by the TV, you are not tuned in and people don't feel connected to you.

Laura committed to use her ears and her body to listen to her children and parents in a much deeper and loving way.

Additionally, not judging what you hear. Instead giving the speaker the space to express their own personal thought, ideas and opinions and even if they are very different from yours, accepting them and being open to hear them.

Laura said that she often jumps in and tells people her point of view and even argues it sometimes. Instead she is going to work on making her manager and her own employee's right!

Laura also said she often is guilty of getting into heated phone arguments with her ex-husband. She says they fight all the time and never agree on anything. The energy of this drags her down and drains her, plus she doesn't want her children to hear her anger. She decided to be less judgmental with him and to criticize him less as this didn't help the situation. Instead of threatening him and giving him ultimatums she was going to stop the game and just speak in the charge neutral way she had learned in coaching.

She felt these new skills would challenge her and make all her relationships stronger.

Terri Levine

www.coachinstitute.com
www.terrilevine.com