Stress Tips

I have a service I provide visitors to my site called "Terri's Treasure Trove of Tips". You can check it out here:
http://www.terrilevine.com/TTT.html.
Idea is you don't HAVE to pay for a full coaching session with me if you just have ONE problem/question you'd like a Master Coach (me!) to help you with.

I recently received an email from a very distressed mother which went as follows:

"This may be silly, but I don't know how to determine what is true stress or if I just overreact to everything. Or does it not matter as long as a person feels stressed no matter what the source? I feel overwhelmed most of the time, I am a stay at home mom, 3kids, ages 12, 3, and 1yr. I feel stressed by everyday tasks and events. Things that I think other people wouldn't react to. I am a control freak and pretty much like things certain ways, and I like a tidy house. I'm stressed by having to do it, but also feel stressed if I don't do it. What can I change or do to reduce these feelings, or how in the world can I make it work for me?"

This scenario is soooo common these days, but still, my heart went out to this poor woman who was trying to be all things to all people and do it all perfectly! So here's what I told her:

"True Stress is that state of overwhelm which affects you physically and mentally and renders one incapable of functioning without that sense of panic and urgency, an inability to relax. I suspect your need to control and have things "just so" is exacerbating your problem. Not all stress is bad. Stress is your body's response to any change in its inner or outer environment. Even good things, such as a promotion at work or a new baby in the house can create stress. It's when you are faced with one stress period after another, with no time to relax in between, it can affect your physical and mental well-being.

Here are some common symptoms of too much stress and not enough relaxation.

• Fatigue


• Sleeplessness


• Irritability, anxiety or depression


• A change in appetite


• Headache, backache or chest pain


• A noticeably negative attitude


• Numbness


• Feeling overwhelmed or out of control


• Poor concentration


• Little things bothering you


• Frequent crying


• Muscle spasms


• Constipation or diarrhea


• Shortness of breath


• Difficulty controlling your temper

It may sound like a cliché, but techniques such as meditation, relaxation or even exercise does help reduce stress levels.

Take your mind away from what you are doing. Read the comics, take a walk. Take deep breaths. Take your 3 and 1 year old to the park, walk slowly and breathe in the fresh air. Find some time of the day to sit and soak in a long warm bath with a good book. If you can't get to a aerobics or exercise class of some kind (that has a creche), buy a video and do it at home. You have to have some special "you" time - this is not being selfish. If you are not feeling 100%, you are not going to be able to give 100% to your family - so you HAVE to take care of you first if you want to be able to take care of others. Investment-wise, if you want to look at it this way, YOU are one of the most, if not the most valuable "possession" in your family. Just look at what you do and achieve every day? Your family could not cope without you. Your husband would have to pay a small fortune to replace you with a full time child-carer/nanny, housekeeper and chef! It pays to take VERY good care of such a valuable commodity - yes?

It will take some practice but you need to relinquish the "need" for a spotless house - you have 3 children - any mother will tell you, children and a permanently spotless house just don't go together unless you have a full time house-keeper! Train your children to pick up after themselves. Know that this "messy" stage will pass one day… nobody is going to judge you if they have children themselves!

Sit down and make a list of the things you feel must be done to make you happy re your house and then schedule the tasks for the week, making allowances for interruptions along the way. Schedule in children time. Schedule in all the things you have to do. Now somewhere in that schedule, find at least half an hour just for yourself - possibly later in the evening when the children are in bed, or maybe you can get up a bit earlier before everyone else - but it's imperative you find time just for you. Buy one of those soothing meditation music tapes, put it on softly, lie on the sofa with your eyes closed and just listen and relax. I realize that for some people doing nothing is very difficult - but I also know you can do it!

You might like to try a herbal remedy - St John's Wort is excellent and can be found on most vitamin shelves in the stores.

Want to avoid the feelings of stress in the future? Try these tips:

1. Get up 15 minutes earlier every morning so you aren't in a rush and can relax before leaving the house


2. Exercise daily to unwind


3. Eliminate the words "ought" and "should" from your vocabulary and make your goals things you really want to do


4. Skip the daily news - it's full of negative events


5. Drive slowly and enjoy listening to music while you drive


6. Meditate or sit quietly for a few minutes every day


7. Schedule plenty of time between appointments so you don't feel rushed

Life is filled with changes and challenges, many of which you can't control. How you respond to these changes and challenges *is* in your control. Your attitude can determine a situation or you can allow the situation to control your attitude."

So that was my advice. I'm waiting to hear back from her. I invited her to let me know how she fared following my advice.

And if YOU have one question you'd like my help with, go to: http://www.terrilevine.com/TTT.html

OR if you would like a proper coaching session, or many coaching sessions, you can contact my assistant Donna at Donna@coachinginstruction.com and she can give you the information you need or I can refer you to another Coach if you wish.

Enjoy your life!