As you know I have been a bit of a lady of leisure recently, being forced to lie or sit while my torn achilles heals. So I've been doing some reading and was amused to read how the Gen Y-ers still continue to baffle and confuse.
What is there to be baffled and confused about? How straight forward are these people? They want a LIFE...not a career! Is that so hard to understand? What is it with employers who cannot grasp this simple concept? (These are obviously businesses and corporations who have yet to experience coaching!)
But that's not what made me chuckle. I've been reading about the reactions of the parents of this Y generation to their children's new philosophy on work and life and it's hard for them, too. If you are the parent of a Gen Y "kid", you might get some comfort from this... or if not comfort exactly, a new way of looking at them...
You've probably grown up with the work ethic that has made you a slave to your job. You believe in long hours and company loyalty because that's how you were brought up and how it worked in "your" day. Some of you worked very hard and missed your children growing up… and they missed you. Some of you worked very hard for your financial rewards, giving up your life for your company, only to be unceremoniously "dumped" when the company no longer wanted or needed you. They just showed you the door and left you on the unemployment heap. Your kids saw the effect of that on you, too, as well as their family. You could have had years of memories of fun times, camping trips, tennis matches, parties, get-togethers, games with your kids... but you don't... and neither do your kids.
You fool yourself that you WERE there for your kids because who was it who rushed around after school taking them to their football training, their swimming classes, their dancing, their music, their...whatever it was they were into. You made sure your kids had what you didn't, right? Every opportunity. Every chance to try as many different things as possible. You thought this made you a great parent. Your kids had the chance to try and do and learn so many exciting and wonderful sports and hobbies that your generation could only dream of when you were growing up.
Well, sure your kids loved that and I take my hat off to parents who love their children so much that they want to do that for them. But you know what else you did? You stressed them. You put too much expectations on them and expected them to devour everything with gratitude. You expected them to find boundless energy and enthusiasm to go from one activity to another in the name of opportunity and a better upbringing than you may have had. You brought up a generation who feels they must always be doing something and have withdrawal symptoms if they have 30 minutes to themselves with nothing to do or no adrenalin rush to enjoy.
And that's not all you did. You showed them that working until you are kicked out on the heap or you drop dead or are too old to enjoy life is NOT how to experience living or a life. You taught them that all work and no play not only makes Jack a dull boy, it makes Jack a lonely, unhappy, easily sick, short-lived, grumpy, miserable, stressed boy who has no friends... who may well end up divorced and have no family either!
Now perhaps you still work hard and you come home and your 20-something, instead of working hard like you, is lazing around the sofa, complaining that his or her 2 or 3 day a week job is too much. Perhaps he has resigned because the stress of the part-time job he had was too much and try as he might, he can't find new work because there just aren't many part time jobs available that aren't stressful!
You grit your teeth because you work 5-7 days a week, long hours, and here is your lazy offspring complaining about working 3 hours a week. And after all you did for them and taught them! How could they have turned out this way? You look at them sitting there, some with their Uni degrees, others with other various qualifications you've paid for or they've worked for, and they are complaining about being "stressed" or tired out.
They begrudgingly pay you a meager amount of rent from what little money they do earn, but how, you wonder, can they be satisfied earning peanuts that just covers their mobile phone bills and helps maintain their social lives! Where is their ambition, you wonder.
Well, it's not all YOUR fault... and it's not all THEIR fault. It's the times we live in. Our kids are exhausted because they live their lives the way we brought them up - cramming in too much. It might not all be sport now, it's probably replaced with other activities - but it is still there - it's all they know - it's what we taught them. Trying to achieve all that in their life AND work a full time job IS very tiring! We taught them to cram it all in... their sport, their friendships, their dancing or yoga, their hobbies, going to the gym, travelling... not to mention the modern-age time consuming activities of downloading music onto their ipods, browsing the internet and watching 100 channels on cable TV - that is if they are not playing some computer game! We forgot to teach them how to cope with it, or to be selective, and that it is okay to not do it all... we wanted them to have it "all" in the first place, remember?
The truth is, Gen Y are not lazy or spoiled "job hoppers" or no hopers. They are the product of their times and their upbringing. They've watched their parents and they don't want to sacrifice their reason for being here just for a job. They want a life. They want the time to experience what they are here on the planet to experience - just as you brought them up to do!
And spare a thought for the Y Generation who do not have Uni degrees or trade qualifications. It is even harder for them in our times to find a job than it was when we were their age. So many jobs are replaced by modern technology. Companies are using less people, often to do more work! And many companies insist on taking young people in on a contract basis, or a traineeship scheme, or some other scheme that means their position is not permanent or secure. Is it any wonder they leave or keep looking for a job that is secure and will allow them time to have a life as well.
I think the time has come for companies and parents to stop complaining about the Y Generation and maybe have a good long look in the mirror for their answers… and maybe it wouldn't harm them to take a leaf out of the Gen Y's book... when was the last time you sat and did nothing much or did anything just for the sheer joy and frivolity of it? When was the last time you "wasted" some time?
I'm forced to do it now, and you know, it's taken a while, but I can appreciate this... it's not so bad...sometimes it is quite nice. You try it. Go on... I dare you!
Terri Levine
http://www.comprehensivecoachingu.com
http://www.terrilevine.com
http://www.coachinstitute.com
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