All my clients seek to have healthy relationships with all of the people in their lives, from parents, to partners, to children, to co-workers and friends. There are some general guidelines for healthy relationships and today "Laura" and I were coaching on this topic.
The guiding principles we identified for all relationships all had tuning in deeply as their undercurrent. This means to deeply hear what the person and saying and more so what they are not saying and what they are feeling. It is about listening for the essence of their message and giving them your full and loving attention, as if nothing else mattered at all, just them. If you are too distracted by your own thoughts or what you want to say or by the TV, you are not tuned in and people don't feel connected to you.
Laura committed to use her ears and her body to listen to her children and parents in a much deeper and loving way.
Additionally, not judging what you hear. Instead giving the speaker the space to express their own personal thought, ideas and opinions and even if they are very different from yours, accepting them and being open to hear them.
Laura said that she often jumps in and tells people her point of view and even argues it sometimes. Instead she is going to work on making her manager and her own employee's right!
Laura also said she often is guilty of getting into heated phone arguments with her ex-husband. She says they fight all the time and never agree on anything. The energy of this drags her down and drains her, plus she doesn't want her children to hear her anger. She decided to be less judgmental with him and to criticize him less as this didn't help the situation. Instead of threatening him and giving him ultimatums she was going to stop the game and just speak in the charge neutral way she had learned in coaching.
She felt these new skills would challenge her and make all her relationships stronger.
Terri Levine
www.coachinstitute.com
www.terrilevine.com
Friday, June 10, 2005
Wednesday, June 08, 2005
Couples Coaching
Let's call my real clients "Ken" and "Barbie" to protect their names and have fun :) They hired me as they are considering getting married within the next year and don't want to be one of the many marriages that ends in divorce. They want to have the skills to communicate and fully relate and to maintain those skills as they mature together.
Both of them come from a loving, caring and sharing place. They also come from homes where both their parent's have been divorced (Ken's twice). They are enthusiastic and optimistic coaching can help them.
Today we talked about how they handle their feelings. Personal responsibility comes before we can be a "couple". "Barbie" prefers to speak about things when she is upset and "Ken" prefers to shut down. Understanding that each relates differently was a great starting point for our coaching.
"Ken" committed that instead of withdrawing, he will work on speaking more when he is feeling frustrated, stress, worried or upset. "Barbie" said she'd listen more and talk less. They co-created this arrangement and both felt good about it and committed to this plan.
When asked about how they approach things that are different which might "bug" them, "Barbie" talked about when "Ken" didn't clean up his breakfast dishes because he was running off to work, and she often ends up doing this and doesn't like it. "Ken" said that when "Barbie" criticized him for making a mess, he felt like a small child and was angry and hurt. As they talked more about this, both agreed the way they criticize vs. make requests was not right. I taught them the coaching skills of being charge neutral and marking requests. They enjoyed this and committed to learning these skills.
If you want to learn coaching skills to create a better life, relationships or do your job better, go to: www.comprehensivecoachingu.com/future-coach.htm and grab your coaching kit right now.
Terri Levine
www.terrilevine.com
www.coachinstitute.com
Both of them come from a loving, caring and sharing place. They also come from homes where both their parent's have been divorced (Ken's twice). They are enthusiastic and optimistic coaching can help them.
Today we talked about how they handle their feelings. Personal responsibility comes before we can be a "couple". "Barbie" prefers to speak about things when she is upset and "Ken" prefers to shut down. Understanding that each relates differently was a great starting point for our coaching.
"Ken" committed that instead of withdrawing, he will work on speaking more when he is feeling frustrated, stress, worried or upset. "Barbie" said she'd listen more and talk less. They co-created this arrangement and both felt good about it and committed to this plan.
When asked about how they approach things that are different which might "bug" them, "Barbie" talked about when "Ken" didn't clean up his breakfast dishes because he was running off to work, and she often ends up doing this and doesn't like it. "Ken" said that when "Barbie" criticized him for making a mess, he felt like a small child and was angry and hurt. As they talked more about this, both agreed the way they criticize vs. make requests was not right. I taught them the coaching skills of being charge neutral and marking requests. They enjoyed this and committed to learning these skills.
If you want to learn coaching skills to create a better life, relationships or do your job better, go to: www.comprehensivecoachingu.com/future-coach.htm and grab your coaching kit right now.
Terri Levine
www.terrilevine.com
www.coachinstitute.com
Sunday, June 05, 2005
Living From Spirit Louisa
"Louisa" hired me as her coach to help her live from a more spiritual place. Her life has gotten full of clutter and has lost meaning, she says. She feels so busy with tasks and to do's, her focus has been away from being connected to the Universe and a Creator.
During our coaching sessions she shared that she drinks a lot of coffee each day and usually has a glass of wine when she comes home from work and then a high carb dinner. She decided to cut down on the coffee and alcohol and to eat more protein and high fiber fruits and vegetables, just to slow her self down and get back in touch with living more peacefully and joyfully.
Next, she was talking about the anger she has for her brother and has had for more than 20 years. I gave her an exercise for forgiveness and release that she committed to using right away. She is thinking about sending him a letter to let the past go as well. This will bring her more in integrity.
To feel more connected to each other, to the planet and to our experiences; trust is a bond that brings us together. She is going to think about whom she trusts, how she trusts, and how she trusts in the Universe as well. Louisa is starting an evidence journal where she will also notice what shows up when she comes from this place of trust.
And, we developed an EXTRAordinary self-care plan where each one, for one full day, 24 hours, midnight to midnight, she is going to forget about work, the do's, the tasks and focus solely on feeling good, enjoying living on this planet and feeling and doing what she loves.
Terri Levine
www.terrilevine.com
www.coachinstitute
During our coaching sessions she shared that she drinks a lot of coffee each day and usually has a glass of wine when she comes home from work and then a high carb dinner. She decided to cut down on the coffee and alcohol and to eat more protein and high fiber fruits and vegetables, just to slow her self down and get back in touch with living more peacefully and joyfully.
Next, she was talking about the anger she has for her brother and has had for more than 20 years. I gave her an exercise for forgiveness and release that she committed to using right away. She is thinking about sending him a letter to let the past go as well. This will bring her more in integrity.
To feel more connected to each other, to the planet and to our experiences; trust is a bond that brings us together. She is going to think about whom she trusts, how she trusts, and how she trusts in the Universe as well. Louisa is starting an evidence journal where she will also notice what shows up when she comes from this place of trust.
And, we developed an EXTRAordinary self-care plan where each one, for one full day, 24 hours, midnight to midnight, she is going to forget about work, the do's, the tasks and focus solely on feeling good, enjoying living on this planet and feeling and doing what she loves.
Terri Levine
www.terrilevine.com
www.coachinstitute
Friday, June 03, 2005
Stressed-Out Susie
"Susie" has a full life. She just graduated with her Master's Degree in Psychology and at the same time is getting married in a month and moving from the east coast to the west coast. She is excited, happy and yet finds herself full of stress.
During our coaching we identified the stress as coming from her constantly thinking about things that "might" happen like: she might not find a job, something might be forgotten for her wedding, she might not like the west coast, she might forget to pack something important, she might not have money, etc.
We co-created a worry-less/stress-less plan. To begin the plan, each day when Susie thinks of thoughts that cause her stress, she is going to stop thinking about them and jot them down in a little journal she is going to carry around. She'll just jot down a real quick note. Then, once each day, at a set time, she is going to spend 20 minutes thinking and yes, worrying if she wants, about the things in her journal.
Next, for each item on her list, she is going to think about the worst thing that can happen and then what action she'll take if that happens. Again, she gets 20 minutes per day for this.
The goal? Have her begin to control stress by scheduling it and using her rational mind to remove it.
Terri Levine
www.coachinstitute.com
www.terrilevine.com
During our coaching we identified the stress as coming from her constantly thinking about things that "might" happen like: she might not find a job, something might be forgotten for her wedding, she might not like the west coast, she might forget to pack something important, she might not have money, etc.
We co-created a worry-less/stress-less plan. To begin the plan, each day when Susie thinks of thoughts that cause her stress, she is going to stop thinking about them and jot them down in a little journal she is going to carry around. She'll just jot down a real quick note. Then, once each day, at a set time, she is going to spend 20 minutes thinking and yes, worrying if she wants, about the things in her journal.
Next, for each item on her list, she is going to think about the worst thing that can happen and then what action she'll take if that happens. Again, she gets 20 minutes per day for this.
The goal? Have her begin to control stress by scheduling it and using her rational mind to remove it.
Terri Levine
www.coachinstitute.com
www.terrilevine.com
Sunday, May 29, 2005
Business Bob
My client "Bob" hired me about a year ago to assist him to get along better with his manager and to have fewer problems with his own employees. He has learned coaching skills and been putting them to use with his employees and his manager. There have been fewer problems in his department. Fewer sick days, improved morale and fewer injuries.
His relationship with his "boss" is better yet he still feels she does not like him. We spoke about speaking his truth and communicating his feelings with her and about asking her for feedback. While Bob has many fears about this, he said he would take my help to push through the fear and just do it.
So, we used several belief shifting tools and then a scripting tool to help him get crystal clear on what his intentions were. Finally, I had Bob hold a practice conversation with me, as if I were his "boss". We then discussed what worked in that dialogue, what wasn't quite right yet and how he could make the conversation more right.
Bob decided that he was going to work on changing his beliefs and then scripting exactly how he wanted to feel and be in that conversation and what he wanted as the ideal end result. Finally, he said he'd like to role play it with me one more time the next day and then he'd speak his truth with her.
After Bob had done his "play work", he called me and we role played the conversation. This time it felt smooth and fluid and he sounded confident. He then went to work and asked "Marjorie" if he could meet with her. Later that day, they met and he did exactly as he intended and spoke his truth. She listened, as he requested. Then the discussed how he felt, how she felt and they co-created a plan to improve their communication, feedback and overall relationship.
He called me ecstatic about this and felt he had made a great stride in his career.
Nice going, Bob!
Terri Levine
www.terrilevine.com
www.coachinstitute.com
His relationship with his "boss" is better yet he still feels she does not like him. We spoke about speaking his truth and communicating his feelings with her and about asking her for feedback. While Bob has many fears about this, he said he would take my help to push through the fear and just do it.
So, we used several belief shifting tools and then a scripting tool to help him get crystal clear on what his intentions were. Finally, I had Bob hold a practice conversation with me, as if I were his "boss". We then discussed what worked in that dialogue, what wasn't quite right yet and how he could make the conversation more right.
Bob decided that he was going to work on changing his beliefs and then scripting exactly how he wanted to feel and be in that conversation and what he wanted as the ideal end result. Finally, he said he'd like to role play it with me one more time the next day and then he'd speak his truth with her.
After Bob had done his "play work", he called me and we role played the conversation. This time it felt smooth and fluid and he sounded confident. He then went to work and asked "Marjorie" if he could meet with her. Later that day, they met and he did exactly as he intended and spoke his truth. She listened, as he requested. Then the discussed how he felt, how she felt and they co-created a plan to improve their communication, feedback and overall relationship.
He called me ecstatic about this and felt he had made a great stride in his career.
Nice going, Bob!
Terri Levine
www.terrilevine.com
www.coachinstitute.com
Friday, May 27, 2005
Network Nancy!
One of my clients, "Nancy" is a network marketer who works a full time job during the day and got involved in network marketing to make extra money. Her dream is to later quit her J-O-B and work her MLM business from home spending more time with her family and hobbies.
Today I coached her to see how to make the MLM business be less passive for her, so in 5 hours a week, she can earn maximum money from it. Most of the coaching was helping her to create a shift in her thinking from her selling the products to focusing her energy and creating a team of people who love the products as she does and are also passionate about selling it and creating their own businesses with it.
She is thrilled so far at the income she is making and sees that residual income in the future can be huge. She sees great possibility and feels within a year or two she can set the foundation for making six figures. I heard excitement in her voice.
As we co-created an action plan she spoke to me about her vision and passion for sharing products that create more health for people with the products she sells and I got her to also be jazzed about creating more financial freedom for her business partners, too. This was her gap - the missing link for her.
She left the call with the play work of completing the Goal Planner (a coaching tool from http://www.coachinstitute.com) and had a deep sense of being committed to her plan!
You go, Nancy!
Terri Levine
Today I coached her to see how to make the MLM business be less passive for her, so in 5 hours a week, she can earn maximum money from it. Most of the coaching was helping her to create a shift in her thinking from her selling the products to focusing her energy and creating a team of people who love the products as she does and are also passionate about selling it and creating their own businesses with it.
She is thrilled so far at the income she is making and sees that residual income in the future can be huge. She sees great possibility and feels within a year or two she can set the foundation for making six figures. I heard excitement in her voice.
As we co-created an action plan she spoke to me about her vision and passion for sharing products that create more health for people with the products she sells and I got her to also be jazzed about creating more financial freedom for her business partners, too. This was her gap - the missing link for her.
She left the call with the play work of completing the Goal Planner (a coaching tool from http://www.coachinstitute.com) and had a deep sense of being committed to her plan!
You go, Nancy!
Terri Levine
Wednesday, May 25, 2005
Eddie the Entrepreneur
A client who worked in corporate America decided to own his own business when his company began going through some rough financial times. “Eddie” had always dreamed of being an entrepreneur and felt now the time was right. He had about 6 months worth of savings that he could live off of if need be and having his own business was a deep and strong desire for him.
His idea was to do consulting in the industry he left (he worked for an IT company). He already had great contacts in that industry and was well know in that sector. He put together an A-Z list (a coaching technique I share with my clients) so that instead of having less than 100 people he could contact, as he originally thought he did, he had almost 310 on his list.
Then we came up with a strategy to contact all these folks and exactly what he’d say and do. We created a 90-day action plan, step by step for him to get in front of people and present his background and his new services and ask for business.
His plan, if he hadn’t hired me, was going to be to create a brochure and business cards and send some standard letter he got from a book! Thank goodness Eddie didn’t do that! What a waste of time and money and what a lack of results he would have seen.
This week he contacted 11 people and he got 6 appointments. Now we are working on creating a great core story he can deliver to these companies to get their business.
Eddie is thrilled to be living his dream and to be getting clients without selling.
For more about selling-without-selling, go to www.selling-without-selling.com.
Terri Levine
www.terrilevine.com
www.coachinstitute.com
His idea was to do consulting in the industry he left (he worked for an IT company). He already had great contacts in that industry and was well know in that sector. He put together an A-Z list (a coaching technique I share with my clients) so that instead of having less than 100 people he could contact, as he originally thought he did, he had almost 310 on his list.
Then we came up with a strategy to contact all these folks and exactly what he’d say and do. We created a 90-day action plan, step by step for him to get in front of people and present his background and his new services and ask for business.
His plan, if he hadn’t hired me, was going to be to create a brochure and business cards and send some standard letter he got from a book! Thank goodness Eddie didn’t do that! What a waste of time and money and what a lack of results he would have seen.
This week he contacted 11 people and he got 6 appointments. Now we are working on creating a great core story he can deliver to these companies to get their business.
Eddie is thrilled to be living his dream and to be getting clients without selling.
For more about selling-without-selling, go to www.selling-without-selling.com.
Terri Levine
www.terrilevine.com
www.coachinstitute.com
Saturday, May 21, 2005
Romantic Ron
One of my clients, who I coach on his business, came to the session this week with a personal concern. He said he really wanted to add more romance to his life and felt he wanted to create something even more extraordinary with his spouse of 8 years.
We used this call for brainstorming and he came up with some cool things. Thought I'd share them in case anyone else would like some romance :)
He is going to plan a romantic weekend for them and surprise her.
One night each week, he is going to get someone to watch their kids, so they can go to dinner and a movie.
He is going to give her a massage at least once a week.
After dinner, when the weather is nice, he is going to suggest going for a walk together and maybe taking the dog, too!
He also decided not to badmouth her family.
And he said he would give many hugs and kisses daily.
How about YOU?
Terri Levine
www.terrilevine.com
www.coachinstitute.com
We used this call for brainstorming and he came up with some cool things. Thought I'd share them in case anyone else would like some romance :)
He is going to plan a romantic weekend for them and surprise her.
One night each week, he is going to get someone to watch their kids, so they can go to dinner and a movie.
He is going to give her a massage at least once a week.
After dinner, when the weather is nice, he is going to suggest going for a walk together and maybe taking the dog, too!
He also decided not to badmouth her family.
And he said he would give many hugs and kisses daily.
How about YOU?
Terri Levine
www.terrilevine.com
www.coachinstitute.com
Tuesday, May 17, 2005
New Realtor Rita
This client, we’ll use the name Rita, is a new real estate agent who hired me to assist her in getting over her fear of rejection. As a sales coach and a former sales person and sales manager, I sure know what rejection feels like and I certainly know what the fear feels like, too.
She said during the past month she knew she had to make phone calls but every time she was scheduled to be making calls she found other things to do to avoid having to make those calls. Her lack of income showed she wasn’t making the calls and she was angry with herself for not making them. I call this “call reluctance” and see it often in sales professionals.
I did a visioning exercise with her asking her to create for me exactly what her dream would be on a phone call where everything went perfectly. I had her fully describe what she would say, what the person would say, what she’d be wearing, doing, feeling, touching and even smelling during the call. After that process I asked her to always, before a call imagine it, and script it in her mind, exactly as she intended for it to happen.
Next I asked her if at the scheduled times she is to make calls, she was writing in the names and numbers to be called. She said no. I asked her to put this in her palm pilot from now on. Every call was now considered an appointment.
Then I asked her what could happen that would be the worst thing on the call. She said they might hang up and then she laughed. I said to her that often we fear because we haven’t thought about the worst thing that might happen.
I shared with her that if she never spoke to people her vision of being a realtor might not come true. We talked about how much she wanted that in her life and why and what would happen if she didn’t make it in real estate. The fear of having to go back to a J-O-B with no flexibility was very painful. I asked her what did she fear most, someone being rude or hanging up or a J-O-B…. she said she got the point loud and clearJ
I also asked her if she found people interesting and she for sure did. I said if she made those calls to just connect with people, not be attached to the outcome, and to simply enjoy each person and find their beauty, would that feel better? She clearly thought so.
Finally, she told me that she gets “tongue tied” and confused about what to say. I asked her to create some scripts and write them down, that weren’t canned, or phony but from her heart and what she wanted to say. By having these she would feel more confident and get better results.
Many of these coaching concepts come from my world famous Selling-Without-Selling sales process which is offered as a complete package for anyone who sells anything at: www.selling-without-selling.com
Terri Levine
CEO
www.coachinstitute.com
www.terrilevine.com
She said during the past month she knew she had to make phone calls but every time she was scheduled to be making calls she found other things to do to avoid having to make those calls. Her lack of income showed she wasn’t making the calls and she was angry with herself for not making them. I call this “call reluctance” and see it often in sales professionals.
I did a visioning exercise with her asking her to create for me exactly what her dream would be on a phone call where everything went perfectly. I had her fully describe what she would say, what the person would say, what she’d be wearing, doing, feeling, touching and even smelling during the call. After that process I asked her to always, before a call imagine it, and script it in her mind, exactly as she intended for it to happen.
Next I asked her if at the scheduled times she is to make calls, she was writing in the names and numbers to be called. She said no. I asked her to put this in her palm pilot from now on. Every call was now considered an appointment.
Then I asked her what could happen that would be the worst thing on the call. She said they might hang up and then she laughed. I said to her that often we fear because we haven’t thought about the worst thing that might happen.
I shared with her that if she never spoke to people her vision of being a realtor might not come true. We talked about how much she wanted that in her life and why and what would happen if she didn’t make it in real estate. The fear of having to go back to a J-O-B with no flexibility was very painful. I asked her what did she fear most, someone being rude or hanging up or a J-O-B…. she said she got the point loud and clearJ
I also asked her if she found people interesting and she for sure did. I said if she made those calls to just connect with people, not be attached to the outcome, and to simply enjoy each person and find their beauty, would that feel better? She clearly thought so.
Finally, she told me that she gets “tongue tied” and confused about what to say. I asked her to create some scripts and write them down, that weren’t canned, or phony but from her heart and what she wanted to say. By having these she would feel more confident and get better results.
Many of these coaching concepts come from my world famous Selling-Without-Selling sales process which is offered as a complete package for anyone who sells anything at: www.selling-without-selling.com
Terri Levine
CEO
www.coachinstitute.com
www.terrilevine.com
Sunday, May 15, 2005
Just Fired Fred
My client, we’ll call him Fred, got fired on Friday. He is of course upset and confused and angry. Natural responses that I have seen throughout my years coaching folks trying to work themselves happy.
Fred was able to vent to me, which he needed, and then we got into actions to move him through this so he didn’t get stuck in anger and self-pity.
He doesn’t like to journal but he does like to do mind maps, so he decided to do some mind maps about what occurred as well as potential opportunities.
He also decided to speak to his friends and family about it instead of feeling shame. I shared the statistics of how many people get fired or laid off and how often this happens in our lifetimes and now he felt that it was nothing to be ashamed of.
He also was going to look at his financial plan with his financial planner and make adjustments since he wasn’t sure how long it would take to find a job or start a business of his own. He is toying with both ideas.
He purchased my Career Options Within and Outside Your Profession e-book (if you want a copy it is at http://www.terrilevine.com/e-books.htm) so he could get really clear on his talents, values, interests, goals, vision, etc. and begin to shift to the work he wants to do next.
After he does this, I’ll help him co-create career goals.
Terri Levine
www.terrilevine.com
www.coachinstitute.com
Fred was able to vent to me, which he needed, and then we got into actions to move him through this so he didn’t get stuck in anger and self-pity.
He doesn’t like to journal but he does like to do mind maps, so he decided to do some mind maps about what occurred as well as potential opportunities.
He also decided to speak to his friends and family about it instead of feeling shame. I shared the statistics of how many people get fired or laid off and how often this happens in our lifetimes and now he felt that it was nothing to be ashamed of.
He also was going to look at his financial plan with his financial planner and make adjustments since he wasn’t sure how long it would take to find a job or start a business of his own. He is toying with both ideas.
He purchased my Career Options Within and Outside Your Profession e-book (if you want a copy it is at http://www.terrilevine.com/e-books.htm) so he could get really clear on his talents, values, interests, goals, vision, etc. and begin to shift to the work he wants to do next.
After he does this, I’ll help him co-create career goals.
Terri Levine
www.terrilevine.com
www.coachinstitute.com
Wednesday, May 11, 2005
Stressed Out Steve
Steve, we’ll call him, told me that between his job and the stress there and then coming home to his children and having to run them to soccer and dance and to karate, he has little time to relax and his stress level is really building.
He doesn’t take much care of his own needs as he is so busy making sure everyone else’s needs are met. His concern is that his stress is causing him to loose patience with his children and he feels he is not being a good role model for his children (he has full custody of his 3 children).
We co-created an action plan to decrease the stress. First, Steve is going to take breaks at work just to stop and breathe deeply to calm himself down. Next he told me that when he works out or takes a walk he relaxes. He is going to join Karate with his son and also try to walk each morning since the weather is now nice.
He also said that he eats a lot of junk food for lunch and also at work and often eats fast food with his children. He felt that if he ate healthier he’d also reduce his stress. He is going to eat more salads for lunch and also snack on things like apples and pretzels instead of the chips and soda he’s been eating. He is also going to pick healthier foods when they eat fast food. More chicken, more salad and less fries.
Steve also said he would focus more on what is working and try to lighten up and see the positive aspects of people and situations. He is also going to see if his neighbor across the street can take turns with him taking their daughters to dance as this would cut out so much rushing around.
Terri Levine
www.coachinstitute.com
www.terrilevine.com
He doesn’t take much care of his own needs as he is so busy making sure everyone else’s needs are met. His concern is that his stress is causing him to loose patience with his children and he feels he is not being a good role model for his children (he has full custody of his 3 children).
We co-created an action plan to decrease the stress. First, Steve is going to take breaks at work just to stop and breathe deeply to calm himself down. Next he told me that when he works out or takes a walk he relaxes. He is going to join Karate with his son and also try to walk each morning since the weather is now nice.
He also said that he eats a lot of junk food for lunch and also at work and often eats fast food with his children. He felt that if he ate healthier he’d also reduce his stress. He is going to eat more salads for lunch and also snack on things like apples and pretzels instead of the chips and soda he’s been eating. He is also going to pick healthier foods when they eat fast food. More chicken, more salad and less fries.
Steve also said he would focus more on what is working and try to lighten up and see the positive aspects of people and situations. He is also going to see if his neighbor across the street can take turns with him taking their daughters to dance as this would cut out so much rushing around.
Terri Levine
www.coachinstitute.com
www.terrilevine.com
Saturday, May 07, 2005
New Job Jessica
I just love giving my clients these funny names :) “Jessica” just changed jobs. She was a top marketing executive in a healthcare organization and she became unhappy after 4 years and decided to go elsewhere. This week she began at another organization, still within the healthcare field, and wanted my help in settling in.
We began with me asking her to let go of the past (this comes right from my bestselling book “Work Yourself Happy”). This means letting go of who you were within one organization and allowing yourself to let that go so you can open up to a new experience with a new company.
We also discussed finding what was working and what was good and cool about the new job, the new people, the new office, the new environment and even the new ways of doing things. She actually started out slow, with only a few positive aspects and within minutes she was talking so fast I had to slow her down!
I also taught her a coaching skill (just as I would teach to a new coach), called tuning in. This is a very, very deep form of listening well beneath the words, as others talk. I want her to be deeply interested in those around her and less concerned with being interesting and talking about her old job and her old ways of doing things.
If you want to coach folks, like I do, I invite you to join a great free call. You can register at:
http://www.coachinstitute.com/coachinginstituteorientation.htm
Terri Levine
We began with me asking her to let go of the past (this comes right from my bestselling book “Work Yourself Happy”). This means letting go of who you were within one organization and allowing yourself to let that go so you can open up to a new experience with a new company.
We also discussed finding what was working and what was good and cool about the new job, the new people, the new office, the new environment and even the new ways of doing things. She actually started out slow, with only a few positive aspects and within minutes she was talking so fast I had to slow her down!
I also taught her a coaching skill (just as I would teach to a new coach), called tuning in. This is a very, very deep form of listening well beneath the words, as others talk. I want her to be deeply interested in those around her and less concerned with being interesting and talking about her old job and her old ways of doing things.
If you want to coach folks, like I do, I invite you to join a great free call. You can register at:
http://www.coachinstitute.com/coachinginstituteorientation.htm
Terri Levine
Friday, May 06, 2005
No Time Tara
Let’s call my client Tara, so we protect her real name. She feels she has no time to do the things she really wants to do in life. She actually hired me to coach her to become more productive and I had to shift her thinking before I agreed to coach her that it really isn’t about greater productivity, it is about creating more space.
Tara has been so busy in her executive career that she has missed out on so much of her life. She has all the books and tapes on time management and has taken seminar after seminar on this, but she says she still can’t manage time.
I say time is something you don’t manage. So today, we began exploring concepts around time, in her coaching session. She read me lists of to do’s she needed to get done and I did tell her something I say to audiences when I speak to them… “When all your to do’s are done that is because you will be to-done… in the grave”. We never finish.
After I heard the list of tasks I shared a coaching tip to have her schedule all her personal to do’s for one block of time. She picked Saturdays. Then, I had her pick a fun thing to do to reward herself when the tasks were done. Tara picked getting some water ice (which she adores!) and sitting outside on the bench enjoying it.
Next, as we looked at the tasks there were so many. Instead we paired them down to “If I were leaving the planet in the morning, what would HAVE to be done?” The list got smaller and she felt better.
Then we had some real fun. I challenged her to see what she could delegate from the list. She came up with hiring someone to cook meals, having groceries delivered, the lawn being mowed by a neighbor’s daughter, shopping on the Internet more, paying her bills on line, getting someone to clean her house and hiring an organizer to help her straighten up her office at work. She also decided to use the dry cleaner who comes to her office at work vs. stopping to drop off and pick up her clothes.
And then we made a list of 100 things she wanted to do before she left the planet and she is going to do at least 1-2 a week.
She changed her focus from getting stuff done to living her life now, as tomorrow we may not be on this planet.
She left the call lighter, freer and happier.
I just love coaching others and seeing how they learn a new dance that creates more joy in their life.
If you want to coach folks, like I do, I invite you to join a great free call. You can register at:
http://www.coachinstitute.com/coachinginstituteorientation.htm
Tara has been so busy in her executive career that she has missed out on so much of her life. She has all the books and tapes on time management and has taken seminar after seminar on this, but she says she still can’t manage time.
I say time is something you don’t manage. So today, we began exploring concepts around time, in her coaching session. She read me lists of to do’s she needed to get done and I did tell her something I say to audiences when I speak to them… “When all your to do’s are done that is because you will be to-done… in the grave”. We never finish.
After I heard the list of tasks I shared a coaching tip to have her schedule all her personal to do’s for one block of time. She picked Saturdays. Then, I had her pick a fun thing to do to reward herself when the tasks were done. Tara picked getting some water ice (which she adores!) and sitting outside on the bench enjoying it.
Next, as we looked at the tasks there were so many. Instead we paired them down to “If I were leaving the planet in the morning, what would HAVE to be done?” The list got smaller and she felt better.
Then we had some real fun. I challenged her to see what she could delegate from the list. She came up with hiring someone to cook meals, having groceries delivered, the lawn being mowed by a neighbor’s daughter, shopping on the Internet more, paying her bills on line, getting someone to clean her house and hiring an organizer to help her straighten up her office at work. She also decided to use the dry cleaner who comes to her office at work vs. stopping to drop off and pick up her clothes.
And then we made a list of 100 things she wanted to do before she left the planet and she is going to do at least 1-2 a week.
She changed her focus from getting stuff done to living her life now, as tomorrow we may not be on this planet.
She left the call lighter, freer and happier.
I just love coaching others and seeing how they learn a new dance that creates more joy in their life.
If you want to coach folks, like I do, I invite you to join a great free call. You can register at:
http://www.coachinstitute.com/coachinginstituteorientation.htm
Thursday, May 05, 2005
Procrastination
Thomas Pushes Through Procrastination
What a great coaching session! I couldn’t wait to post this one… my client, let’s call him Thomas, is the type that takes last minute actions or no actions. He has been meaning to exercise, to eat less, to get his office organized, to call his college alumnus buddies, and the list goes on…
In our session today I had him make a list for each thing he wanted to accomplish of a 2-minute physical action he could take to get started. Then, he picked the one 2 minute physical action for each one that felt good. We hung up and I told him to call me back in 22 minutes when he finished them all… he called in 57 minutes later, apologizing because he couldn’t pull himself away once he started! Yes, exactly what we wanted.
He couldn’t believe it…so, when you are stuck, get moving for 2 minutes and see what happens.
Man, I just love coaching people and seeing what magic they create and helping them shift their believes and make these changes.
If you want to make a living like I do, come to a great orientation call. Register at: http://www.coachinstitute.com/coachinginstituteorientation.htm
Terri Levine, CEO, The Coaching Institute
What a great coaching session! I couldn’t wait to post this one… my client, let’s call him Thomas, is the type that takes last minute actions or no actions. He has been meaning to exercise, to eat less, to get his office organized, to call his college alumnus buddies, and the list goes on…
In our session today I had him make a list for each thing he wanted to accomplish of a 2-minute physical action he could take to get started. Then, he picked the one 2 minute physical action for each one that felt good. We hung up and I told him to call me back in 22 minutes when he finished them all… he called in 57 minutes later, apologizing because he couldn’t pull himself away once he started! Yes, exactly what we wanted.
He couldn’t believe it…so, when you are stuck, get moving for 2 minutes and see what happens.
Man, I just love coaching people and seeing what magic they create and helping them shift their believes and make these changes.
If you want to make a living like I do, come to a great orientation call. Register at: http://www.coachinstitute.com/coachinginstituteorientation.htm
Terri Levine, CEO, The Coaching Institute
Tuesday, May 03, 2005
Sydney The Worrier
My client, Sydney, will call him, watches a lot of T.V. and always is filled with worry about what might or could happen in the world. He has a lot of fear about terrorism and pollution and illness and this has turned him into a worrywart.
Today we had our coaching session and he brought up that he is feeling very negative about the world and filled with worry.
I coached him to use strategies that will assist him to shift from being in worry to being in the present and focused on what is working.
First we made a list of what he is worried about. Then we looked at each item and I asked, “Is this something you can control or change?” We only kept on the list the items he could change.
Then, we talked about how to take a small step to change each item.
Finally, we decided to brainstorm about what he can do to turn off some of the negatives that cause him to worry.
He came up with this action plan and I think it rocks and may help some others, so I am posting it here: (nice work, “Sydney”!)
1. Watch less news programs and no TV news before bed.
2. Read fewer newspapers and scan the headlines.
3. Make a list of things he can control and take actions on those things.
4. When he feels worry, write down what he is worried about and at a scheduled time each day, he can look at this worry list and worry then – but no other time.
5. During his “worry” time, 15 minutes a day for now and less in the future, he can decide if the can make an improvement on the situation and if can he will take a 2 minute physical action to improve it, and if it is out of his hands, he will give it up and pray for resolution of it.
By the way, right now I am giving away 2 free chapters from one of my books as a special gift. You can get yours here: http://www.terrilevine.com/ExtraordinaryLifeBookSpecial.html
Terri Levine
Today we had our coaching session and he brought up that he is feeling very negative about the world and filled with worry.
I coached him to use strategies that will assist him to shift from being in worry to being in the present and focused on what is working.
First we made a list of what he is worried about. Then we looked at each item and I asked, “Is this something you can control or change?” We only kept on the list the items he could change.
Then, we talked about how to take a small step to change each item.
Finally, we decided to brainstorm about what he can do to turn off some of the negatives that cause him to worry.
He came up with this action plan and I think it rocks and may help some others, so I am posting it here: (nice work, “Sydney”!)
1. Watch less news programs and no TV news before bed.
2. Read fewer newspapers and scan the headlines.
3. Make a list of things he can control and take actions on those things.
4. When he feels worry, write down what he is worried about and at a scheduled time each day, he can look at this worry list and worry then – but no other time.
5. During his “worry” time, 15 minutes a day for now and less in the future, he can decide if the can make an improvement on the situation and if can he will take a 2 minute physical action to improve it, and if it is out of his hands, he will give it up and pray for resolution of it.
By the way, right now I am giving away 2 free chapters from one of my books as a special gift. You can get yours here: http://www.terrilevine.com/ExtraordinaryLifeBookSpecial.html
Terri Levine
Sunday, April 17, 2005
Sally's Success!
One of the reasons Sally is so successful is she doesn't let the grass grow under her feet. We only spoke a couple of days ago and already she has put one of the plans we discussed into action AND it worked.
She had a heart to heart with her Boss, after hours when he was less likely to be distracted or disturbed, and the fact that she was prepared to have an audience this way indicated to him that she was serious. So, for once, he listened.
Sally explained her process to him. It was one she actually learned from me in one of my training programs – Selling to Serving. It was considered a crazy idea when I was teaching it but now most people "sell" this way and it is considered "the" way to sell. Not in Sally's new organization though…
Sally told her boss she wanted just 3 months to do an experiment that would prove what she was trying to tell him, then he wouldn't have to take her word for it, the results would speak for themselves. Intrigued and realizing it wouldn't totally disrupt the sales department (and obviously being in a good mood!), he said yes.
So now, Sally has a handful of sales people in a small team she is developing and training in the Selling-to-Serving method. They are going to follow exactly what she tells them to do. The rest of the sales department will carry on doing what they've always done.
In three months time, Sally knows her small team will be showing increased business results and revenues proving "her" way works and with this irrefutable evidence before them, chances are good that Sally will have the entire sales department following her successful format.
She was much happier when I spoke to her on the phone… excited about this new project and glad she spoke to me and persevered with her new, stubborn, old-fashioned Boss.
You have to give new people a chance and you have to give new ideas a chance. Maybe her new Boss isn't such an old bear after all!
She had a heart to heart with her Boss, after hours when he was less likely to be distracted or disturbed, and the fact that she was prepared to have an audience this way indicated to him that she was serious. So, for once, he listened.
Sally explained her process to him. It was one she actually learned from me in one of my training programs – Selling to Serving. It was considered a crazy idea when I was teaching it but now most people "sell" this way and it is considered "the" way to sell. Not in Sally's new organization though…
Sally told her boss she wanted just 3 months to do an experiment that would prove what she was trying to tell him, then he wouldn't have to take her word for it, the results would speak for themselves. Intrigued and realizing it wouldn't totally disrupt the sales department (and obviously being in a good mood!), he said yes.
So now, Sally has a handful of sales people in a small team she is developing and training in the Selling-to-Serving method. They are going to follow exactly what she tells them to do. The rest of the sales department will carry on doing what they've always done.
In three months time, Sally knows her small team will be showing increased business results and revenues proving "her" way works and with this irrefutable evidence before them, chances are good that Sally will have the entire sales department following her successful format.
She was much happier when I spoke to her on the phone… excited about this new project and glad she spoke to me and persevered with her new, stubborn, old-fashioned Boss.
You have to give new people a chance and you have to give new ideas a chance. Maybe her new Boss isn't such an old bear after all!
Thursday, April 14, 2005
Have You Met Sally?
Interesting week. Had a call from an old client I haven't spoken to in years! She's just changed jobs and has a new employer… after only three weeks in her new role she's learned she's jumped from the frying pan into the fire.
I DO wish she'd called me before she made that decision!
I'll call her Sally – of course, that's not her real name. Sally is a very smart sales person and has worked her way up into a responsible position – she was actually head-hunted by the firm she is with now, who hearing of her success rate and that of the team she used to head, wanted her for their own organization. However, now that they have her, they want her to do things THEIR way.
Sally has tried to explain the obvious… that being that if doing things their way worked, they wouldn't have been so keen to have her on the team, and the reason she was so successful was because she did things a little differently. Of course, they don't care about that. They just want her to toe the line, do things their way, and somehow be as successful as she was in her old firm. This is actually not an uncommon scenario!
Sally and I tossed around some ideas and she's going to try them. So far she hasn't had any success "talking" to her boss about the situation, but if they don't want her to "walk" it may be in their best interests to compromise. Not that I suggested she threaten them! She calls her new boss "the bear with no hair" – let's just say that among other things, he's a little moody! She'll have to pick her time.
I told Sally that sometimes results speak louder than words and she needs to prove to them her system will work for their organization every bit as well as it did with the last company – and remind them, isn't that why they hired her? I suggested something else to her too…
We'll see! I'll keep you informed!
I DO wish she'd called me before she made that decision!
I'll call her Sally – of course, that's not her real name. Sally is a very smart sales person and has worked her way up into a responsible position – she was actually head-hunted by the firm she is with now, who hearing of her success rate and that of the team she used to head, wanted her for their own organization. However, now that they have her, they want her to do things THEIR way.
Sally has tried to explain the obvious… that being that if doing things their way worked, they wouldn't have been so keen to have her on the team, and the reason she was so successful was because she did things a little differently. Of course, they don't care about that. They just want her to toe the line, do things their way, and somehow be as successful as she was in her old firm. This is actually not an uncommon scenario!
Sally and I tossed around some ideas and she's going to try them. So far she hasn't had any success "talking" to her boss about the situation, but if they don't want her to "walk" it may be in their best interests to compromise. Not that I suggested she threaten them! She calls her new boss "the bear with no hair" – let's just say that among other things, he's a little moody! She'll have to pick her time.
I told Sally that sometimes results speak louder than words and she needs to prove to them her system will work for their organization every bit as well as it did with the last company – and remind them, isn't that why they hired her? I suggested something else to her too…
We'll see! I'll keep you informed!
Friday, April 08, 2005
Days of Our Lives (Cont 11)
Gayle was still feeling the new office manager was working out and really enjoyed her personality. She was funny and brought humor to the office and the rest of the staff and the patient’s enjoyed her. She said that she realized the Universe works it’s own magic and that getting a new office manager is clearly what the Universe felt was right and now she understood that, too.
She had 3 private meetings with colleagues about her business and one of them said he might refer some patients to her. The other 2 were interested in what she was doing and agreed to come by and see her office.
What she wanted to focus on today, were her fears. She said despite the fact that she had over 25 private pay clients all enjoying their treatments, every once in a while she gets scared that she’ll have no patients. We discussed the fear and what it was related to as well as the reality of the fear.
She is working on a brain dump of all her fears and also creating positive visions to overcome them.
Terri Levine, founder and CEO,
http://www.coachinstitute.com
http://www.terrilevine.com
She had 3 private meetings with colleagues about her business and one of them said he might refer some patients to her. The other 2 were interested in what she was doing and agreed to come by and see her office.
What she wanted to focus on today, were her fears. She said despite the fact that she had over 25 private pay clients all enjoying their treatments, every once in a while she gets scared that she’ll have no patients. We discussed the fear and what it was related to as well as the reality of the fear.
She is working on a brain dump of all her fears and also creating positive visions to overcome them.
Terri Levine, founder and CEO,
http://www.coachinstitute.com
http://www.terrilevine.com
Tuesday, April 05, 2005
Days of Our Lives (Cont 10)
I returned from my speaking gig on Celebrity’s Galaxy cruise ship and met with Gayle today.
Gayle was excited to tell me she had a new office manager and things seemed to be rolling along there.
She hosted a gathering at her home for many of her colleagues and discussed with them her new center and the focus on alternative medicine that she has been a student of for about 12 years. Gayle said many were interested in hearing more and she set up individual lunch, breakfast and dinner times to meet with these folks individually to see how they can support each other and their patients.
In the meantime, Gayle shared that her private pay clients coming for the alternative medicine techniques had grown to 23 and she really believed this was going to work.
She also told me she was bringing less physical work home and her mind was able to let go of the financial challenges and work stress. She found more time to go walking, to get massages, to sit in her garden and to simply be with her husband.
In Gayle’s words, “All IS well”.
Terri Levine, founder and CEO,
http://www.coachinstitute.com
http://www.terrilevine.com
Gayle was excited to tell me she had a new office manager and things seemed to be rolling along there.
She hosted a gathering at her home for many of her colleagues and discussed with them her new center and the focus on alternative medicine that she has been a student of for about 12 years. Gayle said many were interested in hearing more and she set up individual lunch, breakfast and dinner times to meet with these folks individually to see how they can support each other and their patients.
In the meantime, Gayle shared that her private pay clients coming for the alternative medicine techniques had grown to 23 and she really believed this was going to work.
She also told me she was bringing less physical work home and her mind was able to let go of the financial challenges and work stress. She found more time to go walking, to get massages, to sit in her garden and to simply be with her husband.
In Gayle’s words, “All IS well”.
Terri Levine, founder and CEO,
http://www.coachinstitute.com
http://www.terrilevine.com
Sunday, April 03, 2005
Days of Our Lives (cont. 9)
Gayle came to the call sounding more like her. She said she had 3 people lined up for interviews and began to trust more that the Universe wanted her to have a different office manager and was thrilled so many people rallied around her and gave her leads.
She felt supported and loved.
She wanted to talk about her fear of doing just alternative medicine. She said she feared that other Doctors would think she was not professional.
I asked her if she knew other physicians’ who made this kind of change. She said she knew of 3. I asked her to spend time with each of them over the next weeks. Being honest, discussing her fears. She said that excited her.
We talked about her current practice and her future vision during the remainder of the call. She could hear the passion and excitement in her voice as she talked about the future. I asked her to get back to those feeeeeeeeeeeeeelings and stay there all week long!
Terri Levine, founder and CEO,
http://www.coachinstitute.com
http://www.terrilevine.com
She felt supported and loved.
She wanted to talk about her fear of doing just alternative medicine. She said she feared that other Doctors would think she was not professional.
I asked her if she knew other physicians’ who made this kind of change. She said she knew of 3. I asked her to spend time with each of them over the next weeks. Being honest, discussing her fears. She said that excited her.
We talked about her current practice and her future vision during the remainder of the call. She could hear the passion and excitement in her voice as she talked about the future. I asked her to get back to those feeeeeeeeeeeeeelings and stay there all week long!
Terri Levine, founder and CEO,
http://www.coachinstitute.com
http://www.terrilevine.com
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
